


Snatcher/Reader Tidbits! (Short lil Snippets 'N Stuff: Part 2)

by FrickFrackNerdIsBack



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: (also additional tags will be added later i'm just lazy adsfghjk), (but it's snatcher-flavored!), (kinda??? but still fluffy! because I am an absolute whimp-), (other characters of Subcon briefly mentioned), (rated teen juuust in case but i might change that later), (reader is SmugTM in some of these otherwise it's smugcher), (this is basically fluffy stuff 2:electric boogaloo), 2nd Person POV from Snatcher, Caring for someone who's sick, Cute, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, French Kissing, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gentle Kissing, Kissing, Light Petting, Light Swearing, M/M, POV Second Person, Reader's POV, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Shapeshifting, Sickfic, Surprise Kissing, reader is gender-nuetral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24983536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrickFrackNerdIsBack/pseuds/FrickFrackNerdIsBack
Summary: A conglomerate of "Snatcher x Reader" snippets and short stories filled with fluff, cuteness, and overall our favorite ghost noodle acting like the giant, smug tsundere he is! Still up to debate about how many chapters I'm gonna fit into this bad boy, or if it will get as many chapters as the Moonjumper version, but we'll see! (gifted to my friend Kleo and all you other ghost lovers! ;3)
Relationships: Snatcher (A Hat in Time) x Reader, Snatcher (A Hat in Time)/Reader, Snatcher x reader, Snatcher/reader, The Snatcher/Reader, The snatcher x reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 161





	1. Needy for Attention

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LemonyKleonella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonyKleonella/gifts).



> Sometimes Snatcher wants attention. But also, sometimes you're busy doing something. Here's a lil short story showing how Snatcher deals with the lack of attention like the massive tsun he is. (Also, a healthy relationship with actual communication? You betcha!)

Snatcher huffed, for what felt like the fiftieth time in a row, as he laid on the floor, observing you lazily from his upside-down point of view.

You were busy. Because of _course_ you were busy. And right when it was designated cuddle time too! (Not that you two had _actually_ set a literal time for that or anything, but it had become such a routine by now that Snatcher just felt like there was an unspoken specific time for cuddles. Specifically, whenever he wanted cuddles) But of course, you were finishing up some work on your computer. You had told Snatcher that it would only take you a moment to get everything done, but to him it had felt like literal _hours,_ enough time to where his usual reading material had become boring and he was in desperate need to have you by his side. Not to mention, he was getting impatient. Well...actually, he had pasted the stage of _getting_ to it. He was just _being_ impatient, simple as that.

Snatcher wouldn't admit to it, especially not out loud, but he was starting to become jealous of that darn computer. It was like your face was glued to the screen when it _should_ be in his view. He couldn’t see your lovely face while you were working from this angle and it irritated him to no end. But...he _also_ understood that you needed time to yourself, and if were you were busy, you were busy. End of story. And Snatcher _certainly_ wouldn’t be stooping down to a _certain **ice witch’s**_ level anytime soon by keeping you from doing what you wanted/needed to do. So he would wait. Although he didn’t know how much longer he would last.

Snatcher decided to get up from the floor and, instead, slither and shuffle impatiently into the giant comfy nest of blankets and pillows you had set up for him in the back of your room. He grumbled, tossing, turning, digging his way through the pile of sheets and blankets, _trying_ to make it sound like he was just uncomfortable and fixing his position. Definitely not upset that you weren’t in his arms by now. Yep. Master of deception right here. Once he finally felt somewhat comfortable enough, Snatcher peaked out from the sheets he had slithered under, pillows resting on his head in an almost comical way, his glowing yellow eyes the only indicator that there was something curled up inside. To anyone else, it would have looked like the childhood monster under the bed had made itself comfortable in the pillow fort in your room. But to you, on the other hand, you knew Snatcher well enough it where it just looked silly and not intimidating in the slightest.

...Or at least it _would_ have if you had actually turned your head around for even a _second,_ Snatcher noticed with plenty of annoyance.

Snatcher huffed again. And it wasn’t so much that he was annoyed at you anymore. He was more annoyed at himself than anything else. How could _he_ have become so needy for your attention? Him! Snatcher, The King of Subcon! Terrorizer of mortals! Stealer and Devourer of souls! Reduced to _this?_ A pitiful, attention-starved ghost hiding in a pillow and blanket pile? Then again...it wasn’t like your attention was a burden to him. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so huffy about it in the first place! He just felt upset whenever he wanted the attention he had become so used to receiving, or on the other hand, giving, yet he couldn’t have it right then and there. What more could he say? He was royalty. And royalty, when they expect something, they expect it to be given to them right then and there.

Snatcher's gaze, peering from the blankets, turned from something that was less annoyed and more attention-starved. You still hadn’t looked away from you computer by now. He sighed, long and drawn out, which you didn’t notice either. Seriously? You just _had_ to make him beg, didn’t you? He didn’t like to beg, because that meant admitting to the fact that he was craving attention and, even worse, jealous that you weren’t paying attention to him. And you _never_ ceased to tease him about this afterwards, as the last time you called him a “big ol’ kitty cat.” Snatcher’s eyes looked like he was irked by remembering such words coming from you, but his mouth contradicted this as he was smiling at the thought, even chuckling. Well, maybe he _was_ being a “big ol’ kitty cat” (not that he’d ever say it out loud), but he was _your_ “big ol’ ~~and terrifying~~ kitty cat.” And if begging meant he might get your attention…

Snatcher whined, long and drawn out, shuffling in the blankets once more.

To his surprise, this actually _did_ catch your attention.

“Hold on, honey.” you called back, causally, as if the horrifying shadow ghost in the back of your room letting out a long and needy whimper was normal. “Just give me five more seconds, alright? I’m almost done.”

For once, Snatcher was actually happy you hadn’t looked behind you, as his head shot out from his little blanket cave in excitement, the pillows on his head now tumbling down onto the floor. Snatcher’s grin curled up wide on his face, but he quickly replaced it with a fake pout. As much as he was excited to finally, _finally_ curl up with you, you still needed to know that he was “upset” at you for taking so long. For leaving your king on hold and ignoring him for what felt like ages. And no amount of sweet talking and fur petting was going to change-

“Alright! I’m done! Now, what’s the matter with-”

Before you even had a chance to finish that sentence, Snatcher snapped his claws faster than lightning, immediately teleporting you over to where he was in the blanket pile. You reappeared next to him, with Snatcher instantly coiling his tail around you like a snake and wrapping his arms around the rest of your upper half. It knocked the wind out of you at first, as you weren’t prepared for such an affectionate assault, which caused Snatcher to ease his grip on you slightly. But once you were comfortable and not in danger of being squeezed to death, he continued with smothering you, nuzzling the top of your head as your face was suddenly buried in, what you would call, his “floof.” Again, you weren’t in any real danger of being asphyxiated, but you did have to sputter to get a few ghost hairs out of your mouth so you could speak properly again.

“Aww, did you really miss me that much, Snatchie?~” you looked up at Snatcher, a smug grin plastered on your face without even a _hint_ of annoyance. And dammit, Snatcher _wanted_ to be upset at you, especially with that _god awful_ nickname you just used (which he didn’t really hate, but again, not like he would ever admit such a thing). But even he found himself smiling back, if only for a brief moment, before going back to “pouting.”

 **“It’s not _my_ fault. You’re the one who’s cursed me into liking this whole ‘affection’ thing.”** Snatcher turned his head from you with a _hmph_ after he said this, acting particularly offended. But this only caused you to laugh, like it was the funniest thing you have ever seen, making Snatcher smirk momentarily as well before getting back to “business.” As much as he was relieved to hear you laughing again, you need to know just how “angry” he was at you.

 **“And don’t play cute with me. _You’re_ the one who took forever!”** he looked back down at you, wagging an accusing claw in your face. He had to restrain his laughter as you playfully pretended to try and bite his claw while it was in your face. The _nerve_ on this mortal!

“Oh, you _poor baby~”_ your tone then switched to something drawn out and ridiculing, worming your hands out of Snatcher's grasp to trail them up his chest and, more specifically, up to his floof. Snatcher grabbed your wrists before you made it that far though, already seeing your ploy to distract him from the matter at hand. As much as he would _absolutely love_ to receive, as you put it, “floof pets and scritches" from you as an apology, now was not the time. You giggled as his reaction. “Oh? Am I not allowed to pet your floof now? Is this my punishment for not giving you the attention you so rightfully deserve?” you joked, successfully getting a chuckle out of Snatcher.

**“Oh, I could certainly give you a _real_ punishment if you wanted me to! After all, I still have those Death Wish contracts that need-”**

“Um, no thanks! I’m good!” you squeaked out immediately, making Snatcher snort in amusement.

 **“That’s what I thought.”** he smirked, making you pout slightly, a light pink growing on your cheeks. Snatcher’s smug expression turned soft at this, with him letting out a brief sigh. It was really nice for him to be able to see your face again...which reminded him; there was something he needed to do real quick.

 **“In all seriousness though...I apologize if I was annoying you at all earlier, darling.”** any motivation for making you feel semi-guilty for leaving him for so long went right out the window, as Snatcher gave you an apologetic smile. **“I know you were busy, and you deserve time to yourself, I just...got a bit impatient, and I need to get better with waiting for you.”** he sighed, slightly disappointed in himself, bumping his forehead against yours softly. But to his surprise, you took his large hands in yours carefully, smiling up at him.

“Hey, it’s okay, Snatch. To be fair, I did take _way_ longer than I said I was going to. I’m sorry too.” you apologized to him. Snatcher was about to open his mouth to reassure you that you weren’t at fault here, but you quickly put a hand over his mouth. _“But-”_ you added, giggling a bit at Snatcher’s reaction. “I do appreciate that you’re trying. It’s very sweet and considerate of you to wait for me for so long, even when I was taking forever.” you removed your hand from Snatcher’s mouth as you said this in a soft tone, lightly cupping his cheek for a moment. Snatcher leaned into the touch, smiling back you warmly. “I love you, Snatcher~” you cooed to him, before affectionately nuzzling the space where he nose would have been, if he had one.

 **“Love you too, _mon amour~”_** Snatcher sighed in adoration, a golden yellow blush dusting his cheeks ad his claws intertwined with your fingers, which were much smaller in comparison. **“Just warn me before you decide to take forever on your computer again, alright?”** he added, his teasing tone returning, and he smiled at the light giggle it got out of you.

“Uh-huh. Sure. Just think of it as karma for every time _you’ve_ been too busy reading to pay attention to me.” you replied, snarky, grinning at how Snatcher sputtered at this.

**“Oh, come on! It was only a few times!”**

“A _few?_ Honey, you almost never put that law book down! You’re almost always nose-deep in it!”

**“I am not! I don’t even _have_ a nose!”**

You both paused at this, the room going silent, before the two of you suddenly burst out in boisterous laughter. You both giggled and snickered like fools, Snatcher watching you through laughter-induced tears as you were holding your sides, trying to catch your breath. Once you both finally managed to calm yourselves down, the two of you went back to cuddling each other, with both of you letting out a relaxed sigh, seemingly in unison. God, he loved you. You were such a dork at times, and other times you were a downright nuisance just to annoy him, but he loved you all the same. After all, it’s not as if _he_ had any room to talk either, but he wouldn’t have you any other way.

“Well, Snatcher, I’m free now.” you spoke up after awhile, trailing your hand back up to his mane of purple fur, beginning to comb your finger through it softly. Snatcher hummed contently at the welcome sensation, trying not to melt (both figuratively _and_ literally) at your gentle touch. “So...is there any way I can make it up to you, _‘Your Majesty’?_ Y’know, just in case cuddles won’t appease the _‘Almighty King of Subcon.’”_ you teased once more, with Snatcher quirking his eyebrow at you, but smirking all the same. Honestly, he didn’t know whether he should be offended or commemorate you for being so cheeky. Probably both.

Actually...now that he thought about it, he had a _much_ better idea in mind.

 ** _“Welllll,_ if you’re ever-so-kindly offering, _sweetheart-”_** Snatcher dragged out tauntingly, making you gulp a little nervously, as you could recognize _that_ tone of voice anywhere. **“-Then how’s about a kiss for your handsome king, hmm?~”** he leaned closer to your face, delighting in the blush that quickly rose to your cheeks. But his victory was short-lived, as you then snickered in his face, playfully “booping” him on the space where his nose would be.

“Pffft, you massive dork.” you giggled at him as he frowned, but Snatcher’s grin returned as you shyly added “Alright, alright. Come here, ya big spook.”

 **“Ha ha, very funny, sweetheart.”** Snatcher commented only semi-passive-aggressively, before fully scooping you up in his arms and grinning wider. **“Now pucker up, _buttercup~”_** he added in a sultry voice, with you letting out an embarrassed laugh at such a cheesy line and the playful wink he gave you afterwards.

You were probably about to comment again on what a “massive dork” he was, but Snatcher swiftly cut your laughter off by pressing his lips to yours, capturing you in a tender kiss. You both hummed contently at this, closing your eyes slowly and wrapping your arms around each other. As he kissed you, your hands roamed through Snatcher’s fluff, and one of his hands went to comb through your hair in return. Snatcher purred, a deep, rumbling sound, holding you close to him and enjoying your warmth, your touch, and the serene sigh you let out once you broke away for air, before going back in to kiss him once more out of, quote unquote, "spite."

Ah yes, in Snatcher’s mind, this was _definitely_ worth the wait.


	2. When He Bitch, Give a Scritch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short story based around a cute HC of mine that Snatcher likes having his floof (hair? mane? whatever you wanna call it) pet! I wonder how you found that out?
> 
> (Also I'm not sorry for the title adsfghjk my bestie came up with it and I felt like it was just too perfect to pass up-)

No day could have possibly started worse than today.

Snatcher grumbled to himself, sitting where he usually did; in the sizable armchair housed in his tree, a nice law book open in his hand. But while reading his law books usually helped to relax Snatcher in this situation, this just wasn’t the case at the moment. Snatcher continue to grimace at the book’s pages, as if they had offended him somehow, tapping his claws on the arm of his armchair, irritated beyond all belief. He let out sigh after annoyed sigh as he constantly shifted in his armchair, too bothered to be comfortable right now.

Unfortunately, today had just been one of _those_ days for Snatcher. It felt like he couldn't even get a moment’s peace at all today. It seemed like after he had assigned you your contractual obligations this morning, like he usually did, Snatcher suddenly had a boatload of problems and inconveniences dumped onto him all at once. Ones that only _he_ had to deal with, which was just _perfect._ Just _great._ It was like every time one of Snatcher’s minions came in telling him about some bad news or an emergency, another would soon take it’s place. To Snatcher, it all felt like a constant routine of “Boss! Come quick!” this, and “Boss! Something bad happened!” that. It had been like that. _All. Pecking. Day._ First the Fire Spirits trying to set fire to a few abandoned cabins, then the living swamp trying to drag his minions into the depths below, then a giant spider infestation in the Subcon Village, then _WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE?! COULD HE NOT GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET FOR **ONCE IN HIS AFTERLIFE?!**_

…Snatcher suddenly realized that he was tensing his grip on the arm of the chair, his claws threatening to tear through its red fabric. He sighed upon noticing this, exasperated, before inhaling, exhaling, and slowly easing his claws off it. The chair was, luckily, undamaged, but this didn’t help him feel any better (he was just lucky he hadn’t caught himself on fire out of anger this time). Snatcher just wished he could catch a, pardon his French, _fucking_ break for once. And Snatcher could just _hear_ Moonboy fussing at him now about “using such language”, but honestly, he could care less about what some _gaudy, overemotional, cowardly-_ **ugh** _-prince_ had to say about what language he supposedly wasn’t allowed to use. Besides, Moonjumper had already gotten on his case earlier today, and if that _**Prince of the pansies**_ wanted Snatcher to remind him just who exactly _owned_ Subcon Forest, by using his fire magic to burn his signature into said _**Prince of the pansies’ stupid coat**_ , then he would _happily_ do so-

 _Ahem…_ Point was, all Snatcher wanted already was a _break._ A chance to unwind, relax, maybe even catch a few Z’s later. Hopefully he would be getting all of that and more soon, once you finally came back from finishing your contractual obligations, which wouldn't be too long now. Until then, however, Snatcher just had to wait it out, growling under his breath while trying (and failing) to keep his temper under control. But, if he was being honest...Snatcher was _really_ looking forward to your return. If there was one big stress reliever that could always calm him down after a bad day (besides terrorizing Moonjumper), it was _you._ His darling, his sweetheart, the love of his afterlife. Even simply _thinking_ about you, seeing your beautiful face and hearing your equally gorgeous voice once more, seemed to put his slightly more at ease. Well...only _slightly,_ as Snatcher remembered he still had to wait for you to come back, which caused his more-than-sour mood to return once more.

Fortunately for Snatcher, he wouldn’t have to wait much longer, as you were already fast approaching his home.

“Honey! I’m home!” you announced jokingly, walking into Snatcher’s home with a smile on your face. Snatcher’s head perked up from his book almost immediately, with him giving you a small, if slightly forced, but endeared smile in return. “I finished up all my contracts, just like you asked of me!” you announced proudly as you walked over to his armchair, before reaching into your pockets and pulling out said completed contracts. You had to lean on the free arm of the chair, standing on your tiptoes, just so you could lift the contracts up to Snatcher’s face so he could read them. Snatcher smirked at this, if only for a moment. He thought sight was rather cute, and on any other given day, he would have relentlessly made fun of just how _small_ you were compared to him (even though he was just unbelievably tall, but that never stopped him before). But right now, even though your presence had cheered him up for a moment, he still wasn’t in the mood.

 **“Ah, great. _Finally,_ some good news.”** Snatcher mumbled under his breath, taking the contracts out of your hand and skimming them over. He didn’t really bother reading them; he was rather confident that at least _you_ were able to complete the tasks he gave you. **“Yep. Looks good to me.”** he stated bluntly, after barely even giving the papers a once-over, before quickly snapping his claws, whisking them away in a purple puff of smoke. When he turned to look at you, it was clear that you seemed to noticed the annoyed tone of his voice immediately. But that could be addressed later. Right now, Snatcher only had one thing, and one thing only, on his mind.

 **“Well, now that _that’s_ out of the way-”** Snatcher clapped his hands together before you had a change to speak, before giving you a simple glance, nodding downwards as he patted a free space where he was sitting. You looked down at the spot he was patting briefly, before looking back up at him, a puzzled expression on your face. Snatcher did the same gesture again. Seemed like you didn’t get the message. Snatcher sighed, getting as close to rolling his eyes as he could, before reaching over towards you. **“Oh, just come over here already, fool-”**

You let out a squeak of surprise, but also embarrassment, as Snatcher brought his hands under your arms and lifted you up effortlessly. Again, on any other day Snatcher would have found the situation cute and hilarious at the same time. After all, even for a fully grown mortal, he could still lift you up even with his, as you repeatedly called them, “noodle arms.” But again, he still just wasn’t in the mood. Right now, he was in the mood for cuddles. This much was apparently, as Snatcher lifted you into the armchair with him, before finally setting you down where his “lap” would be. You were confused at first, but Snatcher paid no mind to it, as he ever-so-sneakily wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and rested the other on the left arm of the chair, pouting. You blinked up at him. Then something finally seemed to click in your head as he huffed.

 _“Ohhhh._ Bad day, huh?” you finally realized, and Snatcher gave you a passing glance before nodding his head briefly.

**“No kidding. You don’t even know the _half_ of it.”**

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” you said, with genuine empathy in your voice, cuddling up closer to him. Snatcher appreciated the contact from you, but still found himself annoyed with his current mood.

 **“’S not like it’s your fault.”** Snatcher grumbled under his breath, almost unintelligibly. Luckily, you understood “big grumpy spook” fluently by now, and nodded your head at him. **“I mean, you’d think _someone_ could show their king a little more respect around here.”** he then spoke up, his voice increasing in volume. And thank goodness he wasn’t a mind-reader, otherwise Snatcher would have heard you thinking _“Oh no”_ followed by _“Here we go again.”_ Usually, when Snatcher was like this, _especially_ when he shifted his tone like that, it meant that he was about to go off on a rant. All you had to do was say the magic words:

“Do you want to talk about it?”

**“Okay, so, _right_ after you left to do your contractual obligations this morning, one of my minions came up to me and told me that-”**

_Annnd_ there he goes. Not that you were surprised by any means. After all, you were the one who offered for him to talk about it in the first place, and it’s not like he hadn’t done this many times before. It’s just that when Snatcher ranted, he tended to go _on_ and _on,_ becoming _more_ and _more_ dramatic by the second (this is Snatcher we’re talking about here, he’s known for being a drama king). Not that you minded too much, of course. Well...you _did_ mind when he became so loud to where the _whole forest_ could hear him. But still, everyone has a bad day every now and then, right? And you supposed you couldn’t really blame Snatcher. Ruling over a magical, haunted forest must get exhausting and tedious after awhile, you figured. So you tried your best to listen to Snatcher as best you could, even if he sounded like he was getting angrier by the minute.

**“-And then later Moonboy whined about not wanting to be at his post, like he _always_ does! And I’m just like ‘It’s in the contract that _you_ signed! You’re lucky I even let you stay in _my_ forest for being such a free-loader!’ And being typical Moonboy, he gets all upset, even though it’s _true_ and I have to remind him almost _every single day-”_**

You nodded, going “mm-hmm” at certain intervals once he stopped speaking for five seconds. You honestly _were_ trying to pay attention to what he was saying, but...well, it wasn’t like you could have said anything to stop him now. One, you didn’t want to interrupt him. And two, when Snatcher ranted like this you usually had little success in stopping him anyways. As he continued on with his complaining, it seemed like he wasn’t paying much attention to you anymore. He knew you were still there, obviously, as his arm was still snugly wrapped around your shoulder. He was just so busy talking and being generally upset that he wasn’t looking down to check on you anymore. But as he kept talking you found yourself leaning closer to him, resting your head on his chest, feeling rather bored...

**“-I mean, I like my minions, don’t get me wrong, they’re good little workers most of the time! But you’d think that they’d at least be able to put fires out and kill those pesky spiders on their own or...some... _thiiiiiing?”_**

Snatcher’s words suddenly trailed off. It was like someone had flipped a switch, as he appeared to calm down almost instantly. His arms, outstretched because Snatcher had been expressing his anger with dramatic gestures only a mere second ago, slowly sunk down into the chair. A light golden yellow blush also seemed to spread across his face, as Snatcher’s eyes widened in bewilderment before looking back down at you, only to find you with a hand in his...mane? Hair? He didn’t really know what to call the fur around his neck exactly…well, he knew what _you_ called it. His “floof” or “fluff” or whatever. Either way, Snatcher was very surprised to find that you had absentmindedly put your hand in his floof and you were... _petting_ it?

 **“S-sweetheart? _Whaaat_ are you doing?”** Snatcher’s voice cracked slightly, since he wasn’t so sure how the handle this situation. Should he fuss at you for not listening to him? Should he be flattered at the odd show of affection? Well, right now he was settling on giving you a nervous half-smile. You didn’t seem to notice his question though, so he gently poked your shoulder to get your attention.

“Hmm?” you hummed questioningly, finally looking up at him. As if suddenly realizing your mistake though, inferring from the blush on Snatcher’s face, you expression becoming shocked. “Oh! I’m sorry!” you quickly tried to save face by instantly removing your hand from Snatcher’s fluff. Snatcher, surprising himself, had to hold back a disappointed whine at the loss of contact. “Sorry, I guess I got distracted. I should have asked first, I’m so sorry...” you hung your head low, avoiding his gaze like you had done something wrong.

 **“H-hey, it’s alright! You’re fine, trust me. I’m not mad.”** Snatcher laughed slightly, rubbing your shoulder reassuringly. **“Just...what on earth possessed you to do something like that?”** he asked genuinely, although he realized how silly it sounded out loud.

“Huh? Oh, well...I was just staring at your floof and...well, it just seemed so fluffy...sooo I wanted to pet it.”

You were still avoiding looking at Snatcher as you spoke, sounding particularly embarrassed about it. At least, he could guess as much, as a light pink blush rose to your cheeks. Snatcher was just thankful you hadn’t seen _him_ blushing yet, as his face felt like it was on fire (and thankfully, this wasn't literally the case). So...you had been fidgeting with his hair? Just petting it? Honestly, how could you think he’d be mad at _that?_ Not to mention, and he wouldn’t admit this out loud, it had felt... _nice._ For the brief moment it lasted, anyways.

“I’m sorry, I know that sounds _weird-”_

 **“No, no, it’s fine! I just, uhhh...”** Snatcher waved off your apology, before trailing off in his words. You finally seemed to perk up at this, and now _he_ was suddenly the one avoiding your gaze, as he nervously looked away at pretended that he had been looking at a wall the whole time. **“N-never mind...”** Snatcher quickly added, coughing awkwardly into his fist, clearing his non-existent throat.

You both just sat there after that, a bout of silence filling Snatcher’s home. Neither of you said anything, waiting for the other to continue the conversation that had turned awkward, both of you looking away from each other. While you looked back down at the floor, Snatcher continued to stare at the nearest wall. You figured you really should say something, maybe ask him if he actually _had_ been fine with it or if you had made him uncomfortable just then. You just couldn’t seem to find the courage to address it…

**“...I never said you had to _stop,_ you know.”**

Even with Snatcher mumbling this so low to where he was _positive_ you hadn’t heard him, you somehow did, causing you to whip your head around to look at him in confusion.

“What?”

**“What?”**

The two of you just blinked at each other after saying this in unison.

“Didn’t you just say…?”

**“Say what? I didn’t say anything.”**

Snatcher denied it so fast, so hurriedly, you just _knew_ he was lying. This was especially supported by the fact that he refused to look at you, an ever-so-innocent expression on his face as he was now staring up at the ceiling. This just confirmed that you _did_ actually hear what you thought you just heard.

You smiled at this, silently thinking to yourself:

_Oh my god. What a tsundere._

“Oh _really_ now?” you grinned up at him, sly, teasing. You so rarely got to seize opportunities like this, as Snatcher loved flustering you almost every chance he got. So, with that being said, you were going to have a little fun with this. “Sooo then you _wouldn’t_ mind if _mayyybe, perhaaaps, mayhaaaps...”_ you dragged out your words, making your hand “walk” up Snatcher’s chest with your middle and index finger, before stopping _juuust_ a hair’s length _(ha)_ away from his floof. “...if I continued petting you?~” you added with an ever-so-smug expression and tone, immediately taking notice that Snatcher’s eyes darted to you for just a fraction of a second as he gulped nervously, before he went back to promptly “ignoring” you.

 **“Pshhh, _no._ I don’t care. Why would I care? Stop pestering me with such questions.”** Snatcher scoffed, closing his eyes and crossing his arms before pouting. You snickered at this. Yep. He was definitely being a tsundere. Well, second time’s the charm, right?

“Is that a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’, sweetheart? I’d kinda like an answer, if that’s alright with you.” you prompted once more, this time being more considerate. You honestly didn’t want to do so again without his permission, seeing how Snatcher was still a bit... _touchy_ when it came to sudden contact, to put it simply. That was why you had been so afraid that you had done something wrong earlier. Snatcher had become more trusting with you, obviously, considering that you two had cuddled _plenty_ of times before. Heck, you were even sitting in his “lap” right at that very moment! But that didn’t mean you wanted to over-step your boundaries with him. Relationships are based on trust, and you wanted him to trust you.

Snatcher gave you a passing glance, his arms still crossed tightly, and his expression still full of pouting. He looked you up and down, as if you were plotting some sort of dastardly scheme. Well...to be fair, you _were._ Sort of. But he didn’t have to know that. Anyways, Snatcher’s expression looked somewhat hesitant. But as you slowly brought your hand away from his floof, afraid that you had actually upset him for a moment, Snatcher suddenly let out a loud groan of annoyance.

 **“Ugh, _fine._ Knock yourself out, I guess.”** he uncrossed his arm, throwing his hands up in the air for a brief moment, before letting them rest on the arms of his chair. Part of you had to stop yourself from laughing at this, but you somehow managed to keep your composure.

“Are you _sure?”_ you checked with him on more time, just in case. Snatcher just “rolled” his eyes at you and sighed, huffing.

 ** _“Yes,_ I’m sure. Just don’t tug or pull on my hair and we’ll be fine.”** Snatcher informed you bluntly, and you nodded at this, keeping that in mind.

And with that, you slowly eased your hand back into his floof, gentle as can be.

It felt odd, very different from the first time, since your hand was now completely covered in fur. But it felt nice, as Snatcher’s hair was surprisingly silky smooth and soft to the touch with not a tangle in sight, so you assumed he must brush it regularly. It also felt slightly cool in temperature as the hairs brushed against your skin, not too cold, unlike the rest of Snatcher (since he was a ghost and all, it made sense that his body temperature always felt a little cold). You were extremely careful, slowly smoothing out Snatcher’s floof with your hand, petting it lightly. Occasionally, you even took a lock of hair between your fingers, twirling around, before going back to simply petting it. It honestly fascinated you, especially with Snatcher’s hair being such a magnificent hue of purple. Not to mention, it also gave off a faint luminous glow, just like the rest of Snatcher’s body, and you couldn't help but find this somewhat breath-taking to look at…

Suddenly, you realized just how distracted you had gotten, as your audience hadn’t even said a word so far. You _at least_ expected him to comment on how ridiculous the whole thing was in his opinion, maybe tease you on how entranced you seemed to be with his hair, or even mumble and grumble under his breath. But to your surprise; nothing. Not even a peep. You, curiously, looked back up at Snatcher...who was closing his eyes for some reason? Like he was resting? Actually...he looked rather peaceful like this, his expression now soft and relaxed, not at all like he had been only five seconds ago. He even let out a serene sigh as you experimentally pet his floof once more, making you smile.

“Awww, how _cute!~”_ you spoke up, making Snatcher open his eyes in panic. He quickly cleared his throat, trying to pretend like he hadn’t done anything and that nothing at all had happened, clearly.

 **“’M not cute...”** he grumbled under his breath, though the glowing yellow blush steadily spreading across his face told you otherwise.

“Yes you arrre! You’re like a giant kitty cat-”

 **“Sh-shut up!”** Snatcher quickly cut you off. But you could tell by the way his voice cracked, his cheeks deepened with blush, and his floof suddenly puffed up in embarrassment, that he was flustered beyond all belief at your remark. You giggled at this, especially since now you seemed to have more fluff to work with than you did before, but then you quickly went back to petting him.

Snatcher seemed to calm down almost instantly, slowly melting under your touch. You pretended to be distracted with simply petting his hair like you did before. Meanwhile, what you were _actually_ doing was taking brief glances up at Snatcher every now and then, your smile growing larger by the minute. Snatcher was now resting his head back, seemingly sinking further into the chair as you continued petting him; and if you looked behind you, you would have seen his ghostly tail begin to gently sway from side to side, just like a cat’s tail. All the while you saw a dopey grin slowly curl up on Snatcher’s face, with him closing his eyes and humming contently. You had to resist fawning over him once more, it was just so cute! You decided to go even deeper into the fluff, digging your way through and petting as best you could, even when you couldn’t even manage to see your hands anymore, until suddenly…

A deep, steady rumbling noise seemed to fill the air, making you stop and look around. That’s strange. You couldn't tell where it was coming from, exactly, but it almost sounded like-

Wait a minute…

You looked back at Snatcher, your jaw dropping in awe.

Oh. My. God.

Was Snatcher _purring?!_

The steady vibration and steadily growing noise coming from Snatcher's chest as you leaned against him confirmed that, yes, this was indeed true. Snatcher, the all terrifying soul-stealing ghost of Subcon Forest, was, no joke, _purring._ Not only that, but with the _cutest, sweetest,_ most _relaxed_ face you had _ever_ seen him with.

 _“AWWWWWW!”_ you exclaimed loudly, unable to stop yourself, startling Snatcher as he jumped at the sudden noise. “You can _purr?!_ That’s so adorable!” you fawned over him, your eyes filled with amazement and adoration as Snatcher now stared back at you, looking mortified. If we were going by cartoon logic here, your eyes would've had hearts in them, while steam would have been coming out of Snatcher’s ears (well, if he _had_ ears).

 **“Wh-?! _NO!_ I DON’T! I HAVE _NEVER,_ IN MY AFTERLIFE, _EVER-”_** Snatcher started shrieking at you, shaking his head furiously. That is, until you went right back to petting him, making him freeze. **“...p-purred...before...”** Snatcher trailed off as the purring only got louder, before his whole body went lax and he let out a long sigh, his eyes half-closed as he hummed softly.

“I _knew_ it. You-can-purrr!” you commented in a sing-song voice, unbelievably smug, and Snatcher just shot you a glare.

 **“Don’t you _dare_ tell anyone else or I’ll... _oh-”_** Snatcher was halfway into “threatening” you, before you decided to make a bold move and start scratching beneath his floof, instantly making him act like putty in your hands. His dopey smile from earlier had returned, his mouth squiggling almost cartoonishly, as you scratched under the mass of purple fur thoroughly. **"Mhm…little to the left, sweetheart~"** he pleaded in a breathy sigh, his normal tone turning into something much softer and high-pitched, sounding sweeter than honey.

“Like this?” you started scratching closer to the left, just like he had asked of you, and Snatcher took you by complete surprise by giggling and squirming, giddy for a moment, like he was ticklish. Goodness gracious, if he started acting any sweeter than this, you were _certain_ he’d start giving you cavities.

 **"Up, up just a little bit more-”** Snatcher protested once more, purring louder and louder, the deep rumbling sneaking into his voice for a moment, before he paused abruptly. And then, right before your eyes, he started to sinking even deeper into the armchair like he was melting (you had to check and make sure this wasn’t actually the case, shapeshifting and all that), before sighing in relief. You suddenly heard a thumping noise coming from behind you and, turning around swiftly, you realized it was his _tail_ that was thumping on the floor, going _pap pap pap_ in repetition.

 **“Ohohoho, _yessssss~”_** Snatcher chuckled, sounding rather pleased while purring intensely, making you turn back around. **“Ahhh, _that's_ the spot~" **

“Well, _someone_ seems to be enjoying themselves.” you commented, snarky as ever, making Snatcher hum and nod in agreement, before he dissolved into another sigh. 

****

**“I’ve had a long day, alright? I deserve _this,_ at least.”** he then huffed, and you were surprised he was actually able to form complete sentences now. Speaking of-

****

“Hey yeah...weren’t you just going off about that earlier? I kinda interrupted you, sorry about that.”

****

**_“Nahhh,_ it’s fine.”** Snatcher waved his hand dismissively, and then started tapping his chin in thought. **“Hmm, you’re right. Where was I again…?"** he pondered to himself. **"Ah, you know what? Screw it. Not like it matters anymore. Right, darling?”** he shrugged simply, before propping his arms up in a lounging position, grinning back at you. Seemed like he was in quite the happy mood now, the polar opposite of what he had been like when you first walked in. And you were almost _positive_ that if Snatcher had any legs, and if his ottoman had been just a little bit closer, he would have, quite literally, kicked his feet up to relax.

****

“Alright now, you giant dork. Don’t get _too_ comfortable. My arms are starting to get tired.” you told him, your petting slowly coming to a halt as if to prove your point.

****

And Snatcher, to your _complete_ surprise, _whined_ at this. He whined, long and pleading, like a puppy that was just refused his favorite squeaky toy, and you where taken aback, surprised that such a noise could even come from him. Apparently, so was Snatcher, as an embarrassed blush quickly spread across his face afterwards.

****

“Oh? What happened to _‘not caring’,_ hmm?” you chuckled, making Snatcher turn his head away from you with a grumble.

****

**“Oh, just _hush,_ will you?”** he scoffed, but not before sticking his forked tongue out at you in a childlike manner, making you roll your eyes at how much of a tsundere he was being. But then he seemed to reconsider saying this, his expression turning guilty, as he then suddenly mumbled what you were _fairly_ certain was an **“I love you.”**

****

“Awww! I love you too, you big softie!~” you stopped petting him so you could hug him, momentarily burying your face in his floof as you did so. Snatcher sputtered at this sudden show of affection.

****

**“Wh- Who said you could do that?! My floof is not a pillow!”** he fussed, glaring down at you with a flustered face. You only smiled back up at him as you laid your head against it like a pillow, gasping in fake surprise.

****

“Ha! You called it your _‘floof’!_ I _knew_ that nickname would stick with you!” you grinned triumphantly, and Snatcher opened his mouth to say something, before promptly closing it.

****

**“Hmph. Whatever. Rest if you’re so tired.”** Snatcher grumbled, hugging you closer to him “begrudgingly”, the amount of sass in his voice _very_ apparent. You snickered.

****

“Whatever you say, _kitty cat~”_

****

_**“NOW LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE-”** _

****

Your laughter and Snatcher’s embarrassed shrieking could be heard all throughout Subcon. Oh well, at least Snatcher wasn’t yelling out of anger this time. Besides, you finally managed to get some cuddles once he finally calmed down, so it was a win-win for both of you. And as “annoyed” as Snatcher tried to act, you still noticed that adoring smirk he always gave you whenever you were being smug appear on his face, before the two of you snuggled close together. This lasted until you both slowly drifted of to sleep in each other’s arms, a peaceful smile on your face with Snatcher sighing and giggling your name in his sleep.

****

No day could have possibly ended better than today.

****


	3. Canceled Yet Comfy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Hello guys! If you're wondering why the quick update, it's because this is actually an older "Snatcher/Reader" drabble of mine, but now it's been edited to, hopefully, read a little bit better! But yeah, this is old material, so I apologize if it's not the best. But it's a classic in my opinion, so I hope you all enjoy!)
> 
> Sick days suck, but thankfully Snatcher's there to make it all better!

“Well...this sucks.”

You coughed loudly, for like the fifth time in a row, as you huddled up on the couch. You had wrapped a fluffy blanket around yourself and gathered as many pillows as you could. Not like it was helping, but with how miserable you were feeling you _desperately_ needed some comfort. And the one thing that _really sucked now was that _you_ were the only one able to take care of yourself. And you had wanted to go outside so badly today and maybe visit-_

__

Wait...wasn’t there something you were forgetting?

__

“Oh _noooooo...”_ you groaned, the whine straining on your throat. But you had every right to be upset, because you had _just_ remembered the date you had planned with Snatcher. The date that the two of you had discussed the last time you visited Subcon, and the one that Snatcher had seemed so excited to look forward to. And that was supposed to be _today._ You grumbled to yourself bitterly. Why did this stupid illness decide to appear _now?_ Why couldn’t it have happened on a more unimportant day?

__

Nevertheless, you reached into you back pocket to retrieve your phone. As you slowly dialed the number, you felt the guilt and sadness rising up in your chest. Snatcher was going to be heartbroken that your couldn’t make it to the date. Either that, or he would be just a bitter about this as you were. Only...at _you._ Though you had to tell yourself it’s not like he would _yell_ at you, there was still a lingering fear there. One that almost convinced you to not call at all.

__

But you forced yourself to call him anyways. After all, he would just be even more furious if you kept quiet about it. And that was a chance you wouldn’t take, as you punched in the last button at brought the phone up to your ear. While the dull ringing of the phone rang in your ear, you tried to calm yourself and say not to worry. Snatcher would understand, as he was an understanding guy. But you at least had to give the bad news to him gently, just to make him not _as_ disappointed.

__

You felt your heart jump, as you heard Snatcher pick up on the call.

__

_**“Hello? Who is this?”**_ Snatcher asked over the phone, rather bluntly. His echoing voice was still very recognizable to you, with only a bit of static mixed in. His voice made you gulp nervously, but you went on with the call.

__

“H-hey, Snatcher.” you said awkwardly, trying your best to sound somewhat well. A small pause on the other end, and you could just barely hear Snatcher cursing at himself for “being so stupid."

__

_**“Hello, my darling!”**_ Snatcher’s tone changed almost immediately, you noticed, as he realized who was calling. _**“I’m guessing you wanted to call about our date?”**_ he sounded very charmed to hear your voice again. Which only made this harder for you.

__

“Yeah...” you replied, feeling like you wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. “About that, there’s something I wanted to-”

__

_**“Don’t worry! I’ve got the perfect place set up for our little picnic! Although this time it’ll be away from the ever-burning forest fire, I promise.”**_ you could heard the sincerity in Snatcher’s voice. The caring and calmness in his voice mixed in with his joking nature. The one thing you loved so very much about him.

__

It almost made you want to cry.

__

But instead, you nearly hacked up a lung. As you brought the phone away from yourself momentarily so you could have a brief coughing fit, you could feel the soreness growing in your throat. Once you were done, you sniffled before going back to the phone.

__

_**“What was that?”**_ Snatcher asked, making you felt the tightness in their chest. As much as you hadn’t wanted him to heard it, he had. Was your coughing _really_ that loud? You tried to think of an excuse, _any_ excuse, one that hopefully wouldn’t make him worry about you too much.

__

“Sorry, I just have a slight-”

__

_**“Are you feeling alright?”**_ Snatcher pressed on, and you could hear his voice becoming softer. You could feel yourself shaking a bit, but kept a tight grip on your phone. You took a deep breath before building up the courage to speak again.

__

“N-no, I’m not doing so good.” you said, a bit scared. “I got some sort of cold, or flu, or whatever and...” you bit your lip, hesitant to keep going. “...I can’t make to our date tonight.” you finally managed to get it out. And there was silence for awhile. A _long_ while. What was actually seconds felt like the longest minutes of your life. “I’m sorry...” you quickly added in, before you felt like it was too late. But Snatcher still didn’t respond, until-

__

There was a small click, indicating that he had ended the call.

__

You stood there in silence, with nothing but the dull hum coming from your phone. You slowly brought the phone down, away from yourself, until you finally let it drop it to the floor. You felt yourself tighten into a ball, wishing that you hadn’t called at all in the first place. He probably hated you now. Because you said you would _be there,_ and now you _weren’t._ You had broken that promise. You began to cover your face, trying to repress the sudden tears. How could you have been so _insensitive?_ You felt like the worst soul mate ever, and now Snatcher would _never-_

__

_**“I’M HERE!”**_ Snatcher yelled, as he popped out from the floor. You couldn’t help but scream in surprise, before quickly regretting it. You went back into another coughing fit, feeling like you were choking and about to run short on air. Snatcher quickly noticed and went to comfort you.

__

**“Sorry, sorry!”** he apologized, going over to pat your back as you coughed and wheezed.

__

“Sna-” the coughing made it harder for you to speak. “-cher? Wh-what are you-”

__

**“I came here as fast as I could.”** Snatcher rambled on, beginning to tap his fingers nervously. You then noticed he was carrying something in his other hand. A big bag, stuffed to the brim with different items. It looked like it was from a simple store. You gave him a questioning look once you finally stopped coughing.

__

“What’s in there?” you asked meekly, pointing to the bag in question. Snatcher looked surprised for a second, before looking back at the bag he was holding.

__

**“Oh! Right!”** Snatcher said simply, as if he had completely forgotten about it. **“I got you some things…I-I don’t know if they’ll help but-”** he went on, as he brought the bag up to rummage through it. **“Here. Take these. Please.”** he said, a bit rushed, as he grabbed multiple tissue boxes and cough drop baggies from the bag and frantically handed them to you. Although, since his hand was much larger, and his state being a bit panicked, it looked like there were at least six differently branded boxes and eight varying flavor of drops.

__

He tossed the boxes and cough drop bags into your lap, nearly burying your lower half in them. But as you were about to say something in confusion, Snatcher went back to looking through the bag.

__

**“And I got a couple of these too? I’m not sure if you like soup, but I think I read somewhere that it helps?”** Snatcher looked at you desperately, as he brought out a literal “handful” of chicken-noodle soup cans. You stared at him, your expression growing more and more bewildered. Had he really gone through all the trouble of getting stuff for you? All because you were sick? You thought he would have been more upset, sad even, about your date being canceled. And yet, here he was, bringing you a plethora of cough drops, soup cans, and...and-

__

**“Sweetheart? Are you...crying?”** Snatcher stuffed the cans back into the bag, and was now looking at you with concern. You quickly snapped out of your thoughts and went to dry your eyes.

__

“Ah! I’m s-sorry...” you felt your voice beginning to crack, as emotional tears welled up in your eyes.

__

**“No, no. Don’t be.”** Snatcher left the giant bag on the ground and immediately went over to you. And before you knew it, he was sitting next to you on the couch. It was a bit cramped, what with all the pillows piled up everywhere, but Snatcher still managed to hug you close to him while he rested his head on top of yours. You froze at this for a moment, before smiling softly and cuddling into him.

__

“I’m sorry I ruined our date tonight.” you sighed, still feeling incredibly guilty.

__

**_“Hush,_ you don’t have to be sorry for anything.”** Snatcher reassured you, though it sounded more like scolding.

__

“But I’m sick, and I-”

__

**“Shut up. And I mean that lovingly, I promise. You’re _fine.”_** Snatcher comforted you, wrapping his snake-like body snugly around you. **“It’s not like you _intentionally_ got yourself sick, did you?”** he said, half-jokingly and half-serious. This got a sight chuckle out of you (but not too much, since your throat still hurt like hell).

__

“No, I guess not.” you leaned into him, his floof tickling the top of your head. It was honestly rather comforting. “But...what are we gonna do now?” you then asked him, still a bit sad that Snatcher’s picnic wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Not with you being bed-ridden, anyways.

__

**“I’m going to take care of you, dummy! What else?”** Snatcher laughed a bit, as you punched his arm playfully once he said this.

__

“Oh yeah? What if _you_ get sick too?” you smiled, joining in on the teasing fun.

__

**“Oh, please. I’m a _ghost._ Ghosts can’t get sick!”**

__

“Really?”

__

**“Really.”** Snatcher nodded, before remembering something. **_“...Well,_ at least not from _mortal_ illnesses. We can’t catch those, I don’t think.”** he reluctantly added in, with it sounding like he was keeping something a secret from you. But you just let out a short laugh.

__

“Ha! I was right, nerd.” you boasted, quite proud of yourself.

__

**“Only partially, fool.”** Snatcher huffed, but smiled as he brought you closer. He leaned back into the couch, shifting his position so that you were both comfortable. You snuggled up next to Snatcher, wrapping your fluffy blanket as best you could around him. And Snatcher gladly accepted it, his breathing become slower and more relaxed as the two of you rested on the couch.

__

It didn’t take long before you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

__


	4. A Kiss Before You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being Snatcher's soulmate, you also have to complete a few of his contracts every now and then. And that's exactly the case in this fic! Only...Snatcher might've added a little "twist" onto your "contractual obligations."
> 
> (Just a heads up! This is a kissing fic ((if that even is a thing)) so if you're not a big fan of intimate kissing sessions/making-out just go ahead and skip this chapter ahead of time! And don't worry, this is still fluff, it's pretty much mostly happy couple banter and the more intimate kissing is near towards the end!)

Being Snatcher’s soulmate, it didn’t really come as a surprise that even you had to complete a few contracts whenever you visited Subcon Forest. Only, the contracts that _you_ usually received where far less tedious and laborious then some of the other contracts that Snatcher’s subjects and/or ~~victims~~ lackeys had to complete. Sometimes they were very short, simple tasks. Others were a bit more challenging, as Snatcher certainly didn’t want you getting bored with your contractual obligations, as he always put it. And if you _really_ wanted the challenge, Snatcher even offered you his special “Death Wish” contracts from time to time (but only at your request).

So you figured that today wasn’t any different, as you walked right into Snatcher home, with him giving you a contract for you to read over and sign. You know, the usual.

At least...that’s what you had _thought,_ as you picked up the floating quill next to the contract, ready to write out your signature-

 **“Ah, ah, ah! Hold on a minute, sweetheart.”** Snatcher (that’s right, _Snatcher)_ suddenly stopped you, right before you could write your name on the dotted line. You looked back up at him with genuine surprise and confusion. _What?_ Snatcher _never_ stopped you from signing a contract! What gives?

 **“I think you might want to read the, ahem, _fine print_ there before you sign that, darling~”** Snatcher smiled back at you smugly from where he was sitting in his armchair, and _oh no._ You just _knew_ something up. When he was giving you _that_ look with _that_ voice? That could only mean he was up to no good. You quirked an eyebrow at Snatcher, _extremely_ suspicious of his actions, before looking back at the contract in your hands, re-reading it.

Yadda, yadda, something about checking in with the residents of Subcon Village, blah blah blah-

Wait a minute...what’s that extra bit printed on the bottom?

You brought the contract up closer to your face, squinting. It wasn’t so small to where you couldn’t read it, of course. But it had been written so faintly, as if someone had written it down in a hurry, and it had stuck in such a non-noticeable place that you weren’t surprise you completely skipped over it before. Now that you could see it more clearly, it read:

_***In order for this contract to be validated, the deal must be fully sealed with a kiss (or an alternative) by the designated signer.** _

“Wait...a _kiss?”_ you asked while looking up at Snatcher, feeling your cheeks warming up. Snatcher simply gave you a nod, smiling just as smug as ever, which didn’t really answer your question _at all._ Why on earth had he put that down on the contract? Just what was his game here? You looked back at the contract, back at Snatcher, then back at the contract again. “Wha...oh _come on._ That _can’t_ be legally binding in court.” you joked, laughing to yourself, partially to try and shake off some of the nervousness. You knew first-hand just how particular Snatcher could be with law, especially with his contracts. So to read something like _this_ on one of _his_ contracts? Well...it had certainly thrown you for a loop. Snatcher just laughed in return though, seemingly admiring your witty statement.

 **“Oh, that is _absolutely_ true. A normal contract wouldn’t hold up like that in court if this was the case.”** Snatcher explained with the simple wave of his hand. _**“Buuut!**_ **I think you’re forgetting something very important, sweetheart-”** he took you by surprise by reaching his hand over to you, before tilting your head up by the chin, making you look back up at him. You gulped nervously in response to this, feeling your face going redder by the second. And Snatcher seemed to take notice of this as well, as he only chuckled.

 **“This is one of _my_ contracts. Therefore it’s magic. And you’d be surprised the kind of things you can do when you mix magic and law together!”** Snatcher playfully “booped” you on the nose with a single claw, before going back to taunting you.

 **“Like, for instance, if I so desired...”** he suddenly purred, in a deep, sultry voice, one hand keeping your chin up to face him, the other going to gently cup your cheek. **“...I could make it so if a certain, _lovely_ contractor, who perhaps wishes...”** he seemed to lean down closer to your level, your faces getting closer and closer to each other’s. **“...to _fully complete_ said contract…”** his voice seemed to become deeper and deeper in tone as he spoke so slowly, making you feel weak at the knees. **“...would have to give me a kiss in order to, well...”** Snatcher’s mouth was _inches_ away from yours. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. He locked eyes with you, grinning.

 ** _“...seal the deal,_ as it were~”** Snatcher hissed, low and soft, making your heart do flips in your chest.

 _Oh my god._ If he was about to kiss you right then and there you swore you were going to _faint-_

 **“But!”** Snatcher spoke up, releasing you and leaning right back into his chair, completely ruining the moment between you. **“-Of course, you’ll still have to sign the contract regardless. Checks and balances, and all that.”** his tone had gone completely back to normal as he explained this normally, as if what had happened just a few seconds ago didn’t occur at all. You blinked, looking back up at him, still trying to process what the heck just happened back there. You weren’t angry... _well,_ you were at least somewhat annoyed, as Snatcher continuing giving you that smug, knowing look.

_Smug bastard…_

However, just before you considered saying that out loud to tease him, Snatcher seemed to realize something as you stared at him. His expression went soft for a moment, with him looking a tad...guilty? Wait, were you reading that right? It seemed to be that way anyways, as Snatcher quickly cleared his throat awkwardly and started fidgeting with his hands, a nervous habit of his.

 **“Uh... _but_ if that would make you too uncomfortable, you don’t have to seal the deal that way if you don’t want to, as you’ll notice with the ‘alternative’ part. You can just sign it like normally, if you’d rather.”** Snatcher added quickly, his smile disappearing while something that looked more like worry spread across his face. **“Sorry if that was a bit...much.”** he apologized quietly, and you just continued looking back at him, stunned. Less so in embarrassment, more so in confusion. But...you actually found the gesture to be rather sweet. He had added that part of the contract for you beforehand, which was oddly considerate of him. You looked back down at the contract for a moment, smiling. Even if Snatcher’s original plan was to fluster you, he still didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and that, honestly, flattered you.

So, in that case…

Ah, what the hell? Why not? If Snatcher wanted to play this game, then who were you to deny such a challenge?

“Alright! I’ll sign the contract.” you announced, making Snatcher perk up in astonishment.

 **“Wait. _Really?_ Are you sure?”** he pressed, looking like a mix of confusion and worry. But you nodded at him to confirm that, yes, you were very sure. **“But...you do realize I have more than one contract for you today, right? You don’t have to-”**

 _“Yes,_ I’m sure. I want to.” you stressed, going over to Snatcher to take one of his hands in yours, before looking up at him with genuine sincerity. “Although, for the record, you could just _ask_ for some kisses from me next time. Y’know, like normally.” you joked, even making Snatcher smirk a little bit.

 **“Oh, but that wouldn’t be as _fun!”_** Snatcher teased, giving you his signature evil grin you’ve come to know and love, even if he was trying to fluster you. **“Besides, I get to see that beautiful face of yours become such a lovely shade of red, _ma magnifique rose~”_** he chuckled, and you could quickly feel your face heating up at the French nickname he used at the end.

“Really? You’re using French already? Tch, you smug son of a-”

 ** _“Anyways-”_** Snatcher interrupted you before you could finish that statement, taking the contracts from your hands and shoving it in your face. **“Let’s not dawdle any more, shall we? Sign here, please.”** Snatcher offered you the floating quill once more, excitement written all over his face. You snickered at this, gently taking the paper and quill from his hands.

 _“Someone’s_ a little eager for a smooch, huh?” you teased, and Snatcher just pretended to ignore this, even with a golden yellow blush quickly spreading across his cheeks. You hastily signed the paper before he could say anything though, scribbling down your name in ink. “There!” you presented the contract to Snatcher, before it disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. 

“Now...why don’t you come a little closer, Snatcher?~” you smiled, winking at Snatcher and taunting him with a “come-hither” motion. Any confidence that Snatcher had before seemed to go right out the window once you did this, as you could see his floof puffing up in embarrassment. You guessed it must be because he expected you to be more nervous and flustered, with _him_ being the one to do the flustering. _Well, two can play at that game,_ you thought to yourself, as Snatcher obeyed your wish by leaning down closer to you. You stood up as far as you could, having to stand on your tip-toes, until you were both making eye contact with each other. As you put your arms over Snatcher’s shoulders, hugging him close, Snatcher put his arms around your back for support so you wouldn’t fall over.

 **“Are you ready?”** Snatcher asked, still tried to keep his composure, even though he was blushing like crazy.

“As ready as I’ll ever be~” you replied, snarky as ever, enjoying how the roles had reversed, as you suddenly had the upper hand with Snatcher. And with that, you carefully leaned in closer, with Snatcher taking that as his cue to slowly close his eyes and wait for the feeling of your lips against his, even humming in anticipation. You smiled at this cute display, before moving in _closer_ and _closer_ to Snatcher’s face until-

You kissed Snatcher’s cheek instead.

Snatcher opened his eyes, dumbfounded, blinking. You just snickered as Snatcher gave you a more than baffled look.

“What? The contract never specified what _kind_ of kiss, you know.” you pointed out, giving Snatcher a playful “boop” on his nose as revenge for earlier. And oh boy, did revenge taste sweeter than ever, as Snatcher looked just as confused as you had been when he pulled his little “stunt” earlier.

 **“Wha- But I- That’s not-”** Snatcher tried to object, but he just ended up opening and closing his mouth repeatedly, making noises of protest.

“Awww, what’s the matter, Snatcher? Were you expecting something else, _darling?~”_ you tried imitating him, dragging out the nickname just like he would, causing Snatcher to sputter in embarrassment.

 **“Wh- _NO!_ I just thought-”** he started, before stopping halfway through his rant, keeping his mouth shut instead with a firm, annoyed _hmph,_ turning his head from you. **“You’re insufferable, you know that?”** he commented passive-aggressively, while you continued giggling.

“I only learned from the best!” you mocked as you moved back away from Snatcher, getting him to let go of you. Snatcher looked slightly disappointing by not having you in his arms any more, but he soon huffed instead and snapped his claws, his favorite law book soon appearing in his hands.

 **“Ha ha. You’re hilarious, sweetheart. Just report back to me when you’re done with that first contract, alright?”** Snatcher spoke to you without looking up from his book, trying to hide his blushing face from your view. You quickly took that as you cue to leave, nodding and giving Snatcher a noise of affirmation, before heading towards the opening of Snatcher’s tree.

“See ya later, Snatcher! I love you!” you called out before walking out, waving Snatcher goodbye. Snatcher just gave you a passing glance from his book, pretending to be annoyed with you for a brief second, before sighing and smiling back at you.

 **“I love you too. Now go on, shoo.”** Snatcher said with a genuine smile, waving you off afterwards, although you knew he didn’t really mean it in spite.

So, while his attention was still on you, you quickly blew Snatcher an air kiss from across the room with a quick _“mwah!”_ , watching him in amusement as he started blushing even more before burying his face back into his book, grumbling. You smirked at this, giggling as you were heading down the vine path of Snatcher’s home. And as you left, once he was _absolutely_ sure you weren’t going to look back, Snatcher pretended to “catch” your blown kiss from out of the air, before holding his closed fist close to his chest and sighing.

Well, that hadn’t gone quite like he had planned. But, Snatcher still found it admirable that he was rubbing off on you so much and that you where picking up on his smug charm. It put a slight dent in his plan to make you an absolutely flustered mess by the end of the day, sure; but he’d be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t at least a _little_ curious about what you were up to.

 **“Well, _this_ day is certainly going be interesting.”** Snatcher said to himself, going back to the law book already open in his hands. Now all he had to do was wait for you to finish your first contract, then you could come back to complete the next…

* * *

It didn’t take you long to complete your first contract, as all that it entailed was for you to check on the villagers of the Subcon Village. You know, say “hello” to a few Subconites, look for some of the Dwellers while you were at it, make sure that their houses weren’t encased in ice or caught on fire or anything like that. Pretty normal stuff (well, at least for Subcon it was “the norm”). You double-checked your contract, making sure all the boxes had been magically ticked off, and they had.

So with a smile, you quickly bid all the residents of the village farewell, before heading back to Snatcher’s home. And sure enough, when you returned, Snatcher was still reading that law book of his that he never seemed to put down. Seeing this, you decided to have a little fun, creeping into Snatcher’s home quietly without announcing yourself, in hopes of playfully startling him. Snatcher was always know for pulling his pranks on you, popping out of the floors and walls to scare you any change he could get. So, you figured, why not let him have a taste of his own medicine? You couldn’t keep a sly grin from curling up on your face, as Snatcher didn’t even appear to notice you yet. You tip-toed closer and closer to Snatcher’s armchair and then-

 **“Well, that was rather quick.”** Snatcher suddenly startled _you_ instead, as he spoke plainly without even looking up from his book.

“Oh, come on! How did you even know I was here already?” you pouted, getting back up from you “sneaking” position. So much for trying to scare him.

 **“You’re not exactly ‘stealthy’, sweetheart.”** Snatcher looked up at you momentarily, smiling wide like always. **“Take it from a ghost who’s spent his whole afterlife hiding among the shadows.”**

“Ohhh, so _edgy.”_

Snatcher snickered at this remark, before willing his book away through magic and reaching over to ruffle the top of your head in spite. You protested at this, telling Snatcher to quit messing up your hair, before begrudgingly accepting it with an annoyed smile. Yeah, Snatcher could be annoying, especially when he did things like that. But considering that Snatcher quickly straightened out your hair afterwards, brushing the hair out of your face without you even asking him too, it was clear he still cared about you and didn’t really want to get on your bad side. Once Snatcher seemed done fussing with your hair, with you having to wave him off a reassure him that it was fine, you quickly went over to Snatcher’s armchair, trying to lift yourself up so you could sit on the arm of the chair. Of course, you struggled a bit, it was a considerably large chair made for a considerably tall ghost, and Snatcher noted this with an amused snort.

 **“Need help getting up there, shortie?”** Snatcher teased, propping his face in his hands, watching your difficulty as if it was an entertaining show.

“I got it!” you glared a warning him, trying to lift yourself up once more, before falling back down. You grumbled to yourself, only adding to Snatcher’s snickering. It wasn’t _your_ fault that Snatcher owned such an enormous armchair. And you weren’t _that_ short, Snatcher just liked teasing you since he was so insanely tall, which you’d grown (somewhat) used to by now. Luckily, after the third or fourth attempt, you _finally_ managed to hoist yourself up onto the arm of the chair, sitting down before fist-bumping the air triumphantly.

“Ha! In your face, _noodle.”_ you gloated in Snatcher’s face, grinning at how his face scrunched up in displeasure. Oh he _hated_ that nickname, and you knew that all too well. Your victory was short lived though, as Snatcher just chuckled evilly afterwards.

 **“Well done! Really great work there, darling. Such a ‘difficult’ task for you to complete, I know.”** Snatcher sneered with a smile, his voice just dripping with sarcasm, all while he gave you the biggest, most fake applause he could muster. He suddenly snickered to himself. **“Hey, if _that_ was so hard for you, why don’t I make it one of my Death Wishes, huh? Now that would _surely_ give you a challenge! _HAHAHAHAAA!”_** he jabbed at your side with his elbow, purposefully getting on your nerves, before erupting into a fit of maniacal laughter. You felt you face go red in embarrassment, quickly crossing your arms and pouting, turning your nose up in the air to try and act offended. But that only made Snatcher lean his head back and howl more with laughter, holding his sides, slapping his...well, not really “knee”, but you get the point.

********

“Jerk.” you huffed, turning your head from him to hide your embarrassment. Snatcher just wheezed harder at this in laughter. _“Noodly_ jerk.”

****

**_“HA!_ Oh yeah?”** Snatcher said in-between laughing, wiping away fake tears. **“Try me, darling. I made be ‘noodly’, but I can still push you off of my chair. Then I’ll get to see you climb it _allllll_ over again! Trust me, I’d find that little show of yours _hilarious_ to watch again.”** although he was still composing himself from laughing so much, Snatcher narrowed his eyes at you, as if challenging you. You just looked back at him before scoffing, your smile returning.

****

“Come on. You and I both know you wouldn’t actually do that.”

****

**“Oh _really?_ And why’s that?”**

****

After Snatcher said this, you paused to look at him...before smiling devilishly. You then slowly started to lean on his shoulder, nuzzling the underside of his face affectionately, humming to yourself “innocently” as you waited to see his reaction. You felt Snatcher freeze, instantly going quiet at this, before a glowing, yellow-gold blush you had grown so accustom to seeing quickly spread across his face. You also snickered at how his floof, once again, puffed up to show how flustered he was at this, with the purple fluff now tickling your chin softly.

****

“Because you _looove_ me~” you replied, looking up at him sweetly, his face becoming even more covered in blush. “Right, _snookums?~”_ you teased, and you had to keep yourself from laughing as Snatcher visibly sputtered at the nickname, nearly toppling over from where he sat in flustered surprise.

****

_**“D-don’t-”**_ Snatcher started, his voice cracking for a moment, before he quickly cleared his throat to regain some of his composure. **_“Don’t_ call me that.”** he then growled, leering down at you. But considering that Snatcher’s arm was already around you, after you caught him ever-so-sneakily trying to bring you closer to him once you leaned against him, you knew he wasn’t actually mad. He was just being his regular, tsundere self. 

********** **

“Oh? You don’t like it?”

********** **

**“No?! Obviously not! Why would I like being called-”** Snatcher fake-retched, sticking out his tongue in “disgust”, being as over-dramatic as possible. **_“-ugh,_ ‘snookums’. I have a reputation, you know.”** he scowled, his actions contradicting him as he went to hold your hand in his. And you gladly took it, squeezing his hand as your fingers intertwined with his claws for a moment.

********** **

“Uh-huh. Maybe a reputation for being the biggest softie in Subcon.” you countered. Snatcher _literally_ growled at this remark, before hissing under his breath at you like an angry serpent. But this didn’t phase or intimidate you in the slightest. You just simply rolled your eyes at his attempt to be “scary”, still keeping your smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve already promised not to tell anyone else, you giant drama king.” you quickly added for his sake, reassuring him by going to pet his floof with your free hand for a brief moment. He seemed to calm down at this slightly, even with him still pouting afterwards.

********** **

**“Hmph. You’re just mad I called you short.”**

********** **

“Fair enough.” you chuckled, reaching up your hand to pat the side of his face tenderly. “But _you’re_ just mad I called you a noodle.”

********** **

**“It’s insulting!”**

********** **

“Awww, you don’t like that one either? I thought it was endearing!” you pretending to be sad that he didn’t like your little nickname, saying this in a fake-whining voice. Snatcher just huffed, letting go of your hand that he was holding so he could cross his arms, turning away from you angrily. And as fun as your little “teasing” game was, even you had to admit, maybe that was going a bit too far. Feeling a little guilty of your actions, you decided to apologize.

********** **

“Hey...I’m sorry, Snatcher. I was just teasing.” you said more softly, getting his attention by lightly touching his arm. “I still think you’re pretty terrifying, honey. And I really do mean that!” you “complimented” him as an apology, awaiting his answer and hoping you hadn’t made him _too_ mad just then. To your relief, Snatcher looked back at you, looking you up and down before turning around, smirking.

********** **

**“And?”** Snatcher said, as if expecting more from you. **“Go on, what else?”**

********** **

“And you’re extremely horrifying.”

********** **

**_“And?”_ **

********** **

“And you’re a grim, ghastly, incredible ghoul?”

********** **

**_“Annnd?_ Come on. Say it, sweetheart.”**

********** **

You were confused as to what more he could possibly want from you to inflate his ego. Then it hit you. _Oh._ You then sighed, shaking your head. He really was going to make you say it, wasn’t he?

********** **

“And you’re the handsomest ghost in all of Subcon. There. Happy now?”

********** **

**“Oh, please, stop! You’re making me blush!”** Snatcher acted as cheesy as he possibly could be, fake-trying to hide his blushing, apparently “embarrassed” face, before almost immediately peaking out from his clawed hands and grinning at you mischievously. **“But by all means, do go on about how great I am if it so pleases you~”** he then posed proudly, pompously, with his hand over his chest, flaunting his ego even more than you thought was possible, and succeeding in making you burst out laughing.

********** **

“Pffft, oh my god, you are _such_ a dork!”

********** **

You continued laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, with Snatcher beaming at you proudly and even eventually joining in on your laughter. You didn’t know this, but in the short moment you had started laughing, Snatcher had not only been proud of himself to be the one to make you laugh, but was relieved to hear you laughing again. Maybe you personally found your laugh “silly” or “weird-sounding” or “too loud” or “ridiculous”, but come on. Snatcher’s laugh was _literally_ loud and maniacal nearly _all the time._ And if you found _that_ charming about him, then there was no reason he would’ve found _your_ laugh any less charming. After all, he felt like it was a beautiful sound, especially coming from you. It was a sound that reminded him of warmth, of happiness, of... _life._ While you were catching your breath, Snatcher silently admired you with a soft smile, letting out a short, happy sigh that (thankfully) you didn’t seem to hear. Once you seemed to calm yourself down, Snatcher wrapped his arms back around you and brought you closer to his side, nuzzling the top of your head, catching you off guard by suddenly being so affectionate.

********** **

**“In all seriousness...I’m sorry for teasing as well, darling. You know I don’t meant it in a bad way, right?”** Snatcher purred in much softer, sweeter voice. The kind of voice he only used around you when finally he managed to push aside his pride, showing you his softer, much more affectionate side. Snatcher was beyond relieved to see you smiling back at him once he apologized.

********** **

“Yeah, I know you don’t, you big softie.” you purred back, before leaning up and placing a quick, brief kiss on his cheek.

********** **

At first, Snatcher looked like he was about to grumble at this remark, but then he simply sighed, kissing the top of your head in return. He didn’t even care that he started purring as you snuggled up closer to him, with both of you sighing in unison, relaxed. Oh, how he just wished this moment could last forever…

********** **

“Oh! Um...Snatcher?” you seemed to remember something, unfortunately and unintentionally ruining the quiet atmosphere between you two. Snatcher looked down at you questioningly.

********** **

**“Hmm?”**

********** **

“I still haven’t completed all of my contractual obligations yet...”

********** **

Oh. Whoops.

********** **

**“Oh. Right.”** Snatcher seemed to remember this as well, muttering **_“Curses...”_** under his breath grumpily. He’d forgotten that those contracts still needed doing. And right when he had just been getting comfortable, with you in his arms, no less! But still...the two of you would still be playing your little “game”, so at least he might get a kiss from you before you went off to complete the next task he’d assigned to you. With a noticeably sad sigh, Snatcher released his hold on you in order to snap his fingers to conjure up the next contract, with it appearing in front of your face in a puff of smoke, its floating quill partnered next to it.

********** **

“Never thought I’d see the day where you’d be _disappointed_ by your own contracts.” you commented with a quick laugh, as you grabbed the quill and hastily scribbled your name down.

********** **

**“Yes, well, they are still important tasks that need to be done. I’ll just have to wait until later to have you in my arms again, I suppose.”** Snatcher said, unenthusiastic, letting out another sigh. **“But hey, at least there’s still the additional part of the contract, right?”** he added, trying to look on the bright side, smiling warmly at you, instead of in his usual teasing manner. Blush quickly rose to your cheeks and you turned your head from him, smiling shyly, improving Snatcher’s mood just a bit little by seeing such a cute sight. **“Hey, it’s fine! You can just give me a quick peck on the cheek again if you’d rather. I don’t mi-”**

********** **

Snatcher had _expected_ you to suddenly kiss him on the cheek, but that’s not what happened.

********** **

Instead, before Snatcher could finish that sentence, and while he was still turned towards you with his eyes closed as he was reassuring you, you had already lifted yourself on the arm of the chair to suddenly be face to face with Snatcher, before swiftly cupping his cheeks in your hands and leaning in to kiss him. On the _lips_ this time, cutting off Snatcher’s words and making his eyes shoot open in surprise, with him being completely still in that sudden moment...before relaxing into your touch. Snatcher’s eyes closed slowly as you pressed you lips against his, his arms going limp by his sides, his tail thumping on the floor repeatedly, and with him nearly turning into a puddle in his seat at such a sweet feeling. You kissed him longer this time, tenderly, sighing out through your nose while Snatcher hummed against your lips contently. At some point, Snatcher regained feeling in his arms and tried to hold you closer to him, not wanting such a wonderful feeling to end. But, to his disappointment, you eventually broke away just before he could. But, to his delighted surprise, you parted your mouth from his as slowly as possible, savoring the moment. Part of him wanted to chase after your lips again, already missing your softness and warmth. However, he restrained himself, instead giving you an almost lovesick gaze as his arms fell back to his sides, his body nearly collapsing in your hold, especially with the soft, warm expression you gave him afterwards. And he wasn’t surprised that, as he gave you a dopey, squiggly smile, magic hearts started appearing above his head, purple, sparking, floating like bubbles.

********** **

“I’ll be back soon, my king. I promise~” you said softly, so softly. And goodness gracious, Snatcher nearly, almost literally, melted in your arms after hearing you say that, especially because of the _“my king”_ part. If he had any knees, they’d almost surely be weak by now. Heck, if he had any legs to stand on at all, he’d probably already be on his knees for you. He was almost _swooning_ over you. You were just so _pretty,_ so _gorgeous,_ so _wonderful…_

********** **

Snatcher had been so lost in his adoring thoughts that he didn’t even notice you letting go of him as you went to hop off the chair, with him nearly falling over and flat on his face, the magic hearts above his head popping out of existence. Thankfully though, he kept his balance, clearing his throat awkwardly and giving you a smile with his more than flustered expression. You smiled at this, glad he was okay, before turning around heading towards the exit. You suddenly seemed to remember something, pausing, turning back towards Snatcher to give him a simple wave goodbye. Snatcher waved back, more genuine than the last time, as he really didn’t want to see you go. But once he did, you had already headed out, making him sigh, partly because he loved you and because parting was such sweet sorrow.

********** **

Once you were gone, after Snatcher watched your figure slowly disappear along the path outside his home, Snatcher then flipped himself around in his seat and promptly slumped backwards in his chair with a dramatic sigh. His noodle-like body splayed across the chair sideways, his upper and lower half hanging off each opposite arm of the armchair as if he was a rag doll. Snatcher was not sitting in his chair properly at all, nor did he care. As Snatcher’s head leaned over the left side of the armchair, his view going upside-down and his head only a few inches off the floor, he sighed again while looking forlornly out of the mouth of his tree, his cozy tree now feeling empty and lonely without you around already.

********** **

Well, nothing to do but sit around and mope, he supposed. He didn’t really feel like bothering with reading his book anymore. After that _marvelous_ kiss of yours, Snatcher was now feeling, strangely enough, all warm and fuzzy on the inside, his (highly metaphorical) heart already yearning for you to be back in his arms again. But still, he had to remind himself that your work came first, and he could manage to wait patiently until you finally returned so he could give you his last, and final, contract. And then, _hopefully_ soon, he would finally get to spend the rest of the day cuddling with you. For right now though, Snatcher had to play the waiting game.

********** **

But hey! It’s not like you would have to take _too_ long on this next contract...right?

********** **

* * *

********** **

Well... _that_ took you longer than expected.

********** **

Honestly, you didn’t think you would have been stuck delivering mail for so long. It was an easy task on any other given day. So easy that even Snatcher didn’t have to supervise you with such a task! Just go over to the tree with the time clock nailed into it, put on your mail delivery cap with the scooter badge pinned on it, clock in, deliver mail to Snatcher’s minions on your scooter, hang up your hat, and then clock out. Easy, right? Well...not this time, as fate was inevitably not on your side.

********** **

The minions, charming and child-like as they were, decided to play a little game of “hide-and-seek” with you today. At least, you were certain this was the case, as you kept finding minions behind trees and hidden in bushes, giggling with glee once you eventually found them and delivered them their respective mail and packages. Tedious as it was, you couldn't find it in you to be mad at them. Beside, it was still cute, even becoming a bit fun as time went on. But you kept reminding yourself that Snatcher was probably eagerly waiting for you to get back, so you tried hurrying up your task as quickly as possible.

********** **

Once you finally clocked out, you couldn't have been more relived and excited at this same time, as you hung up your cap near the time clock and immediately headed down the path to Snatcher’s home. You walked with a slight pep in your step and blush steadily growing on your face. If you were being honest, the entire time you had been delivering mail, you had been constantly thinking about when you would finally get back to Snatcher, daydreaming about just how happy he would be to see you again. Even the minions, as you were delivering their mail, seemed to notice you blushing at the thought, making teasing and playful remarks just like children would (even breaking out into the silly song of “You and Snatcher sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”, with you having to shush them afterwards, embarrassed out of your mind while the minions broke out into fits of collective giggling).

********** **

Needless to say, you might have broken out into a run as you noticed you were quickly approaching Snatcher’s home, more excited to see him again than ever. And as you came up the vine path at almost lightning speed, you could see Snatcher inside waiting for you, now sitting upright, resting the side of his face in one hand and tapping his claws impatiently with the other, looking rather bored as you could hear him sighing gloomily to himself.

********** **

_“Snatcher!”_ you called out excitedly, succeeding in getting his attention as you walked into his home. Snatcher almost immediately perked up at the sound of your voice, his face lighting up as overjoyed smile instantly appeared on his face.

********** **

**_“Darling!”_** Snatcher called back, in the same excited tone as yours, almost sitting on the edge of his seat in surprise.

********** **

You quickly noticed the tell-tale sign of Snatcher about to snap his claws to teleport you over to him. As if preparing yourself for it, you outstretched your arms beforehand, already ready to embrace him once that single, magical _snap_ rang out through the air. And it did, as you immediately found yourself being lifted up by Snatcher, facing him as he scooped you up in his arms almost desperately and you did the same, wrapping your arms around his body tightly, the two of you smiling at each other gleefully. Before you knew it, Snatcher was already dipping you backwards in his arms from where he was sitting, with you letting out a surprised yelp. But as if _that_ wasn’t enough to surprise you, Snatcher then, taking you _completely_ off guard, began littering your face with sweet little kisses. You let out a gasp, before giggling uncontrollably, as he placed fleeting kisses repeatedly on your forehead, cheeks, the tip of your nose, chin, almost everywhere on your face. He even went so far as lean down so he could nuzzle the crook of your neck, placing a few, faint kisses there. Your face was probably the reddest it had ever been, as you squirmed in his grasp, squeaking in embarrassment, yet laughing from just how flustered you were.

********** **

_“Snatcherrr! Sweetiiie!”_ you whined, high-pitched, before laughing. “It- pffft, _hahaha!_ It t-tickles! Please, s-stop, I can’t- _haha!”_ you spoke in-between laughter, almost running out of breath. And thankfully for you, although the feeling was nice while it lasted, Snatcher immediately stopped once you told him to, allowing you to catch your breath.

********** **

You almost couldn’t see it, as you tried to compose yourself from laughing so much, but Snatcher was grinning at you from nearly eye-to-eye. Once your breathing returned to semi-normal, with you only letting out a few, small laughs occasionally, you both embraced each other more tightly, nuzzling the front of each other’s face affectionately and sighing blissfully. You then giggled as Snatcher placed you down into his “lap”, with him going to nuzzle the top of your head and you going to do the same with his chest as you held each other in your arms.

********** **

**“Oh, I missed you so much!”** Snatcher hummed as he closed his eyes and sighed once more, before leaning back to look down at you. **“Where _were_ you? What on earth took you so long? I was worried sick!”** there was no fire behind he words, no scolding you, but actual, genuine concern. You could see it painted across his face, as he wasn’t frowning at in anger, but with real worry.

********** **

“I’m so sorry, honey.” you apologized, feeling more than a tad guilty. “The minions...well, let’s just say they were a little harder for me to find today.” you told Snatcher hesitantly. He looked confused for a moment, before suddenly understanding what you meant and letting out a groan of annoyance.

********** **

**“Oh, come on! _Again?_ I specifically told them not to do that anymore!”** Snatcher fussed before shaking his head, sighing. **“Then again, most of them _are_ children, so I guess it’s not really their fault.”** he shrugged, and you nodded in agreement. **“Still...”** he slowly added, carefully titling your chin up to meet his gaze. **“I’m more than happy to see your face again, _mon amour~”_** he smiled at you warmly, his loving stare making your heart skip a beat.

********** **

“Me too.” you breathed out, softly, leaning up closer against him. “Although, before we get too comfortable, don’t you have one last contract for me?” you reminded Snatcher, remembering how you had both forgotten last time. It wasn’t that you wanted to leave already. That was the honestly _last_ thing you wanted, and you could tell that Snatcher felt the same. You just wanted to finish your contracts already, and as soon as possible.

********** **

**“Do you _have_ to leave right now?”** Snatcher pouted, hugging you closer by habit. Reluctantly, you nodded your head, hugging him back, not wanting to have to leave his side either. Although, you did feel like you needed to remind him:

********** **

“They’re _your_ contracts.”

********** **

**“I _know.”_**

********** **

“And this was _your_ idea.”

********** **

**“I _knooow.”_** Snatcher whined, face-planting into the top of your head and slightly burying his face in your hair. **“I just wish I had planned this out better ahead of time.”** he grumbled, his words being muffled slightly, before he leaned back and begrudgingly snapped his fingers, presenting you with the third contract. You took it into you hands with the same hesitation Snatcher had while giving it to you, writing your name down as quickly as possible. Once the contract disappeared, however, Snatcher seemed to clear his throat to get your attention.

********** **

**“H-hey, sweetheart?”** Snatcher tapped you lightly on the shoulder, try to gain your attention. **“Do you think, uh...this time...that maybe we could, um...”** Snatcher started to ask, looking away from you and tapping his claws nervously. You looked up at his expectantly, tilting your head in question as Snatcher trailed off, his yellow-gold blush returning to his cheeks at your staring. He then coughed into his fist before pulling on his floof slightly, the closest thing to a collar as he was going to get. **“N-never mind, I was just-”**

********** **

“No, it’s okay! Go ahead.” you prompted, taking Snatcher’s hands in yours gently and squeezing them, giving him a patient smile. “What is it?” you asked, and Snatcher looked a bit hesitant, before inhaling and exhaling in preparation for what he was about to ask.

********** **

**“Do you think...we could kiss for a bit longer this time? Maybe a bit more...how do I put this... _passionately?”_** Snatcher finally managed to say, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, catching you off guard with the sudden request. **“N-not that there’s anything wrong with what you’ve been doing! I promise!”** he, almost frantically, reassured you, looking like he was already regretting asking in the first place. **“I just...I-I wanted to... _ugh,_ what’s the word-”** he looked like he was struggling with thinking of how to say this, snapping his fingers while trying to remember said word.

********** **

“You want to _make out?”_ you asked in almost near disbelief, blushing from how ridiculous it already sounded coming out of your mouth. The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, Snatcher looking like he was bracing for something.

********** **

**“Oh...well, I was going to say ‘French kissing.’ Uh, that’s the same thing, right?”** Snatcher wasn’t joking, but instead asking you an honest question. He gave you an awkward half-smile as you slowly nodded your head, but it quickly faded. **“But again, you don’t have to. I’m just-”** he started, looking away from you again, before looking upset with himself and sighing, exasperated. **“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m a fool for even-”**

********** **

“Okay.”

********** **

**“-bringing it up in the first...place...wait _whaaat?”_**

********** **

“I said ‘okay.’ Why not?”

********** **

Snatcher simply stared back at you, his mouth almost going agape.

********** **

**“Wh- you don’t _have_ to!”** he immediately interjected, taking you by surprise. **“Darling, I love you, but I don’t want to _force_ you to if you don’t-”**

********** **

“Snatcher.” you said firmly, bringing a hand up to his cheek to calm him down. And he did, almost instantly, but you could still see the worry on his face, clear as day. “It’s _okay._ You’re not forcing me to. You asked me, and I said ‘Yes.’ I wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t _want_ to.” you reassured him, gently stroking his cheek. “I trust you, Snatcher. I know you’re not that type of person. Heck, you been considerate enough to make sure I’ve been alright with this whole ‘kissing contracts’ thing all day!” you joked a little, happy to see Snatcher smiling slightly at this. “Besides, I’d be lying if I said I _didn’t_ like kissing you. It’s...nice. _Very nice.”_ you told him, blushing slightly, before shyly adding “You’re a really good kisser, actually.” under your breath. And you smiled as Snatcher’s floof, just like you had expected, puffed up after he heard this, with Snatcher’s blush deepening.

********** **

**“R-really?”** Snatcher asked, as if he almost couldn't believe it. And you nodded meekly, watching as Snatcher seemed to grin more at this. **_“Really_ now?”** he prompted once again, more boldly this time, his regular, smug self resurfacing, making you snicker slightly while nodding once more. **“Funny, especially since _you’ve_ been doing most of the kissing today, _sugarlips~”_** he teased, leaning in closer to your face and making you squeak in embarrassment.

********** **

_“Snatcherrr!”_ you whined, dragging out his name when suddenly hiding your blushing face in your hands. However, Snatcher quickly took your hands back in his, pulling them slowly away from your face, chuckling.

********** **

**“Come on now, sweetheart. How can I see your beautiful face if you keep hiding it like that?~”** Snatcher cooed softly, before bumping his forehead against yours gently, looking you in the eyes before saying your name lovingly. **“-I love you. And I don’t feel like I say that enough, but I truly do mean it. I’m lucky to have even met you, my darling. Lucky enough for you to be mine and for me to be yours, especially with you trusting me so much.”** he confessed to you, almost making you cry from such sweet words, especially as he whispered your name once more in the same, loving tone he had used before. **“-I’m more than honored to have you as my soulmate. I love you so, _so_ much.”** he vowed to you, kissing the top of your head and making you sigh as you looked up at him fondly.

********** **

**“May I?”** he then asked, not wanting to go any further or do anything else without your permission. And you didn’t hesitate for a second to nod and quietly tell him “Yes.”

********** **

Carefully, Snatcher brought and arm under you and hoisted you up, until you were literally face-to-face with him. Now that you were at level with him, you brought your arms over his shoulders to steady yourself, as he tentatively wrapped his other arm around your back for support. You were so close to one another, your faces almost inches away from each other. Meanwhile, your eyes never left Snatcher's, and vise versa, even with the two of you looking more than a little nervous. Snatcher let out a shaky exhale, his nerves trying to get the best of him, but you quickly reassured him by bumping your forehead against his softly, as he had done earlier.

********** **

**“Promise me you'll let me know if I go too far, alright?”** Snatcher pleaded to you, in the softest tone you had ever heard him use before. You nodded delicately, not wanting to shatter the almost glass-like atmosphere between the two of you. You trusted him. He trusted you. And you both loved each other so, _so_ much. More than words could say.

********** **

“Kiss me, Snatcher. Please...” you begged him, using the same hushed tone, your heart feeling like it was racing. You slowly began to close your eyes, with Snatcher doing the same, as you leaned in closer to each other…

********** **

It didn’t take much to the close the gap between you two, being so close to one another to begin with. But once you did, you both started off slowly, cautiously, your lips passing over each other’s in a steady rhythm. Even when he was kissing you now, Snatcher was still hesitant, letting you take the reigns, holding you closer to him but keeping his grip just loose enough so you could still move away if you wanted to. But you didn’t want to move away. In fact, you didn’t want him to stop. He was so close to you, and you were so close to him. It already felt so _wonderful_...with him cradling you in his arms so gently. And Snatcher would agree, as your lips were so soft and you felt so warm...

********** **

Your kisses started to become more open-mouthed, with Snatcher taking the hint and, ever so carefully, opening his mouth as well. Once he did, you both picked up the pace significantly. The two of you hummed into each other’s mouths continuously, Snatcher’s voice deep and rumbling, with yours being more high-pitched and dissolving into satisfied sighs. You kissed Snatcher back desperately, like your life depended on it, while he hummed and purred deeply in response. You suddenly cupped his cheeks and leaned further up, kissing him again, and again, and again, not wanting such a feeling to end. Snatcher happily returned the favor, slowly dipping you back in his arms, one of his hands pushing against the back of your head slightly, bringing you even deeper into the kiss, and you crooned into his mouth at this. At one point, Snatcher unintentionally bit your bottom lip lightly with his fangs. It hardly hurt at all, but it was enough to make you gasp in surprise, with Snatcher going to pull away from you, worried he had done something wrong. But you gently brought him back, kissing him even more passionately, trying to convey all your love for him in that moment. Snatcher’s grip on you nearly faltered, as he almost felt like his whole body was about to combust at the sensation of your lips being back on his, your kissing so heartfelt, so _loving..._

********** **

Eventually, the two of you slowed your actions, your kissing becoming a more sweet, tender exchange, before stopping all together and parting from each other in an almost excruciatingly slow motion, with you slightly panting for air once you both fully broke away. Snatcher was panting somewhat as well, his breathing slightly rugged, even though you were quite aware that he didn’t need to breath in the first place (old habits die hard, you supposed). Once you finally composed yourselves, Snatcher looked down at you, and you looked up at him, as he was still holding you in his arms, before he carefully lifted you up and back into his “lap.” You found your head resting against Snatcher’s chest, as Snatcher leaned back into his chair with a lovestruck sigh.

********** **

_“Wow...”_ you breathed out, amazed, feeling like that was really the only thing you could manage to say after that.

********** **

**“‘Wow’, indeed.”** Snatcher chuckled briefly, sounding a bit giddy, a cute yellow blush highlighting his cheeks as his forked tongue stuck out cutely, looking dazed from such a kiss. He then suddenly seemed to remember something though, his expression switching immediately. **“Was...was that alright, darling? I didn’t go overboard, did I?”** his worry from earlier seemed to return, as Snatcher asked you this with a slight cringe in his voice. **“I’m sorry if it was too much, I didn’t-”**

********** **

“Shhh, Snatcher-” you quickly shushed him, reaching up to cup his face in your hands once more. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m fine, trust me. You were wonderful, sweetheart.” you reassured him, stroking your thumb across his cheek, looking back up at him with loving eyes. And this seemed to relax him significantly, with Snatcher sighing in relief and leaning into your touch, quietly purring. “More importantly, was that okay for _you?”_ you asked in a hushed tone, and Snatcher seemed surprised at this, before chuckling deeply.

********** **

**“Oh, _yes._ And, if I may-”** Snatcher grinned down at you, titling your chin up under a single claw. **“-I’d like to suggest that we should _most certainly_ do that more often~”** he added smugly, making you blush and giggle, if a tad shyly.

********** **

“Consider it considered then.” you smiled, snuggling closer to Snatcher and resting your head against his chest, sighing happily as he wrapped his arms back around you in return. But then you suddenly remembered the contract you were supposed to be doing, shortly groaning in disappointment. You really didn’t want to get up, let alone leave Snatcher side again. “Hey, Snatcher?” you asked, looking up at him.

********** **

**“Hmm?”**

********** **

“Is there any chance I could wait until _tomorrow_ to do that last contract?”

********** **

Snatcher seemed to consider your proposal for a moment, mulling it over in his head, before grinning back at you maliciously.

********** **

**“Hmm, I’m not so sure I can let you get away with _that,_ sweetheart.”** he tapped his chin in thought, although he was clearly over-exaggerating. You scoffed. You couldn't believe what an absolute drama king he was. **“I mean, you’d have to convince me pretty well for me to even _consider-”_**

********** **

You stood up on your knees for a moment, just so you could cut off Snatcher’s words with another kiss, leaving him speechless once you pulled away. You giggled at Snatcher’s blank expression afterwards, before he finally started blinking again.

********** **

**“...On _second thought-”_** Snatcher muttered, clearly embarrassed. **“M-maybe the contract can wait.”** he quickly cleared his throat, trying to mask his words with a cough, making you smile proudly.

********** **

“Well, well, well! If I had known it was _that_ easy to get out of my contracts-”

********** **

**“Shut up-”**

********** **

“-I would have done this _ages_ ago!”

********** **

**“First of all, I don’t sound like that. And second of all, _SHUT UP-”_**

********** **

You just laughed, with Snatcher glaring down at you, trying to look at least somewhat “annoyed” with you, but you could see him smirking out of the corner of your eye.

********** **

“Pffft, you absolutely _do_ sound like that, you giant drama- _mmph!”_

********** **

You were right in the middle of retorting when Snatcher, just like you had done before, suddenly cut you off with a kiss, muffling your words. You were wide-eyed, blushing, as Snatcher smirked through the kiss, still smirking even after he pulled away, letting out a chuckle at your expression.

********** **

**“What’s the matter, sweetheart? Ghost got your tongue?~”** Snatcher laughed at his little joke, while you simply huffed.

********** **

“Hmph, smug bastard...”

********** **

**“Come on, you _looove_ me!~”** Snatcher cooed, nuzzling your nose, and you sighed in defeat, smiling.

********** **

“Yes, I do.” you said softly, taking his hand in yours and briefly kissing the top of it, before wrapping your arms back around him. “Now kiss me, you dork~”

********** **

**“Oh, I’d be more than happy to, my lovely fool~”**

********** **

You giggled bashfully at Snatcher’s words, before happily letting him capture your lips in yet another, more passionate kiss, both of you smiling through it as he held you in his arms.

********** **

Yes, both of you could certainly start getting used to this.

********** **


	5. The Purr-fect Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration for this chapter? I HC that Snatcher can shapeshift. That's it. That's all the explanation you're getting-
> 
> (This chapter is more of a joke fic! Therefore it's much shorter than the others, but I hope the concept is just as funny to you guys as it is to me! Also if anyone has a phobia of snakes, be wary, it's briefly mentioned towards the end-)

When you arrived at Snatcher’s tree, you expected to be greeted by the specter himself; maybe to be met with a simple “Hello” or even a loud, thunderous, booming _“FOOOOOOOOOOOOL!”,_ followed by maniacal laughter and Snatcher shoving a contract or two in your face for you to sign. You had _expected_ to see him sitting his giant, red armchair, his face buried in his favorite law book, like he almost always was when you came to visit. And you had _at least_ expected a note or a piece of parchment, maybe even a wooden sign hanging out by the opening of the giant tree with the words “Gone stealing souls” painted on it. Something. _Anything._

What you _hadn’t_ expected was for Snatcher to be completely missing.

But, evidently, that’s what you got, as the moment you walked into Snatcher’s home you saw that he was nowhere to be found. No law book left closed and bookmarked anywhere, no grinning shadow ready to pull a prank on you by popping right out of the floor or ceiling to jumpscare the life out of you, and, as mentioned before, there wasn’t even a single note saying just where in Subcon he had teleported off to. Which left you to do nothing but sit on the doorstep of Snatcher’s home, your face in your hands, sighing sulkily to yourself. Part of you was considering whether or not you should get up to go look for him. Then again, for all you knew, he might have simply been setting up some new traps or stealing souls like he normally did, and the last thing you wanted to do was interrupt him while he was right in the middle of “working”, as he always put it.

Although, you really hoped that Snatcher would come back soon, as you couldn’t help but have the eerie feeling that someone, or _something,_ was watching you-

_**“Mrrrrrrow~”** _

You perked up at the sudden, strange noise, turning your head in all directions, trying to figure out where the heck it came from. Subcon Forest was know for all sorts of strange noises, yes, but none of them had ever sounded like _that_ before. It was also strange how it almost sounded familiar...

You heard a rustling noise, immediately making you jump from where you sat. You then quickly took notice that, within a group of purple bushes, two glowing, golden yellow eyes were staring out from the darkness. Directly at _you._ The pupils of the pair of eyes, slit in nature, seemed to dilate, as the “creature” spotted you from within its hiding place. You tensed. You had no idea what that thing even was. Subcon was filled with all sorts of creatures, yellow eyes peaking from the darkness at every corner you turned, but you had never seen a pair of eyes like _these_ before. They weren’t human or spider-like, but most certainly, definitely, _animal._ The leaves of the bushes began to rustle once more, and you braced yourself for whatever _terrible, hideous_ beast would pounce out and-

It was a cat.

Wait...a _cat?_

Seriously?

That appeared to be the case, as what looked to be just a regular house cat swiftly jumped out from the bushes, landing on its feet before shaking its fur free of any leaves. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, turning it into a sigh of relief. It was just a harmless cat. You almost couldn’t believe you had let yourself be scared by a _cat,_ of all things. But...that begged the question, what was a cat, not to mention, a seemingly _normal-looking_ cat, doing in the middle of Subcon, of all places? You then recalled something. Didn’t Snatcher once tell you that he owned a pet cat? Although, now that you thought about it, this cat didn’t really seem to fit his description at all, as Snatcher once told you how his cat, lovingly named “Rough Patch”, was a bit more on the “bushy” side (as in it was _literally_ part bush, which baffled you to no end, but hey, almost anything was possible in a place like Subcon).

But _this_ cat, on the other hand, now that you were able to get a closer look at it, seemed like just a normal Maine Coon cat. It was slightly larger than the average house cat, with _extremely_ fluffy fur, colored a deep black. And a pair of golden-yellow eyes which were, again, staring _directly_ at you, as the cat sat itself on the ground, as if it was expecting something from you. You looked back at the cat curiously in return. It didn’t seem to be wearing a collar...was it a stray? Then again, its fur appear to be pretty well-groomed from what you could see, so it certainly didn’t _look_ like a wild cat. But then again, there was only one way to tell for sure.

“Here, kitty kitty!” you called out to it, softly, trying to beckon it towards you. To your surprise, the cat seemed to tilt its head and observe you in curiosity, its golden eyes looking you up and down for a moment. “Come on, _pleeease?”_ you pleaded with it, hoping that it was at least friendly. The cat just stood there. Staring at you. Hmm...maybe you weren’t calling it over right? You decided to use the one, surefire way to call a cat, your last resort-

_“Pspspspspspspspsp!”_

To your surprise, that actually _did_ work, as the Maine Coon immediately got up from where it was sitting and started to trot over towards you. Although, before it started walking up the vine path of Snatcher’s home, you almost _swore_ it felt like the cat had been smiling at you. But...cats don’t usually smile, right? Then again, this _was_ Subcon Forest you were currently standing in, so who knew? Maybe it was magic cat or something similar? Whatever the case, the Maine Coon was now at the doormat of Snatcher's home with you and, more noticeably, sat back on its haunches to stare at you once more.

“Hey there, lil’ fella!” you smiled back at it. And the cat just stared back at you, barely even blinking. Strange...cat eyes didn’t _literally_ glow, did they? Then again, you wouldn’t be surprised if this was some sort of magic or ghost cat, something supernatural, like Rough Patch. “Strange... Snatcher never mentioned owning _two_ cats before. Are you lost, little baby?” you cooed to it, going to reach your hand towards it. But before you could, the cat suddenly got back up on its paws and walked right into Snatcher’s home before you could stop it. “Wh- _Hey!_ Where do you think _you’re_ going, kitty?” you called after it, getting up on your feet to chase after it.

To your bewilderment, the Maine Coon seemed to stop near Snatcher’s armchair, looking it over and considering it.

“Nope! Don’t think so, buddy.” you stood in front of it, blocking its path right before it looked like it was about to jump onto the chair. “Sorry, but that seat’s reserved for my soulmate. You know, Snatcher? Also known as _'The All Mighty King of Subcon’,_ apparently? Perhaps you’ve heard of him?” you joked mostly to yourself, over-dramatizing Snatcher’s “famous title”, laughing a bit to yourself afterwards. And maybe this was just because you were starting to get tired, but out of the corner of your eye, you almost thought you saw the cat smile again, then nod its head briefly, before giving you a firm _**“meow”**_ in reply, its call echoing in a strange way.

“Oh, you _do,_ huh?” you crossed your arms, looking down at the cat fondly, half-accepting that it could understand you. “Well, I’m sorry, sweetie, but the chair’s still off-limits.” you went over to the ottoman, sitting down, watching the cat to make sure it still wouldn’t jump. “The last thing I need is Snatcher fussing at me for letting _you_ get cat hairs and claws mark all over his favorite chair.” you continued talking to it, pointing a finger in its direction. “Actually, speaking of, you probably shouldn’t even be in his house to begin with. Sorry kitty, but you gotta get out before he comes back. Go on! Shoo, kitty!” you stated promptly, waving it off, and the cat almost seemed surprise by this.

 _ **“Mrrrr...”**_ the cat appeared to say to you in protest, giving you pleading eyes. But you weren’t going to give in. No sir, you weren’t going to let this cat get the best of you. Not even if-

The Maine Coon stepped towards you, until it was right at your legs, looking up at you with big, sad eyes. It was like you could almost _hear_ the sad violin music playing in your head as it stared at you pleadingly, begging for attention. For added measure, it started lightly purring, rubbing its face against one of your legs affectionately, letting out a long, whiny _**“mew”**_ for the extra killing blow.

Alright. That’s it. You admitted defeat and finally broke.

 _“Awwwwww!_ you poor wittle fwuffy _baby!~”_ you cried out, fawning over the poor creature. And before you even knew what you were doing, you were already reaching down to pick it up. The Maine Coon meowed in protest at first, but didn’t bother to hiss and scratch at you, so you successfully managed to lift it up and into your lap. Well, _almost_ successfully. You had a little trouble at first, as there was a lot of cat to deal with here. _“Chonky_ lil’ fella, huh? Got too much fluff on you, sweetie!” you cooed to it affectionately as you hefted it up, with it meowing again, not appreciating you calling it “chonky”, apparently.

However, it seemed to calm down almost instantly once you finally brought it into your lap; and thank goodness you were sitting on the ottoman, because the cat just _barely_ managed to fit, with such a massive fluffy creature nearly covering the entirety of your lap. Surprisingly though, as large as the cat was, it wasn’t as heavy as you expected it to be, oddly lighter than air as it sat on top of you. Wasting no time at all, you quickly starting petting the cat’s fur to soothe it. And sure enough, it purred happily in response; a deep, rumbling purr, and you couldn’t help but feel like it sounded _oddly familiar…_

The Maine Coon’s head affectionately nuzzling against your hand, however, snapped you out of this train of thought, making you grin and squeal at such an adorable display.

“Awww! Who’s an absolute sweetie? Who’s a fluffy lil’ sweetheart?” you baby-talked to it, as you scratched it behind the ears, with it meowing to confirm that yes, as long as you kept giving it attention, it was a “fluffy lil’ sweetheart.” You marveled at just how soft and silky its fur was, and again, you couldn’t shake off the thought that it felt somewhat familiar…

But who has the time to think about such things with a cat in your lap? An absolutely _adorable_ cat demanding pets and scritches, no less? Certainly not you!

“Who’s my fwuffy wittle handsome baby? That’s right! You are!” you continued, the cat turning into an immobile, fluffy lump in your lap as you continued petting it, purring louder than a chainsaw. “Hmm, you might be even fluffier than Snatcher! Speaking of, _poor_ Snatcher...” you faked a sigh in disappointment, not noticing how the Maine Coon perked up as you mentioned his name again. “If I ever convince him to let me keep you, he might get jealous! Believe or not, but big ol’ scary Snatcher likes pets and scritches too, and I just don’t know if there will be enough to go around!” you joked, giggling to yourself, oblivious to the cat in your lap looking up at you with intrigued eyes.

Meanwhile, the cat grinned once more. A _wide, evil, mischievous_ grin, one that could beat the Cheshire Cat’s signature grin by a long shot.

**“Oh, I don’t think that will be a problem at all, _sweetheart~”_**

Hearing Snatcher’s voice made you jump in your seat and scream in surprise, with you panic-scooping the cat up into your arms, hugging it close for protection. Not only had you been freaked out by Snatcher suddenly speaking up, fear written all over your face, but you were also deeply embarrassed he had heard all that, as deep red blush now colored your cheeks. How long had he been listening?! Had he been hiding inside his home all along?! You turned your head in every direction, but you couldn't see him anywhere!

 _“S-Snatcher?!_ Wh-where are you?! How long have you been-”

Your words were cut off by the sound of someone having the wind knocked out of them. That “someone” being Snatcher, apparently, as he spoke up once more in a wheezing voice.

 **“S-sweetheart...p-please-”** Snatcher manage to choke out.

Your face was riddled with confusion...before you looked down at the fluffy mass you were hugging tightly in your arms. Your eyes widened in shock, your jaw nearly dropping to the floor.

**“Y-you’re squishing me... _help-”_**

With a shriek, you instantly dropped the Maine Coon you were holding, with it landing safely in your lap. And before you could even get a word out, before you could even sputter and ask _what on earth was going on,_ the cat’s form began morphing and shifting, its size becoming _bigger_ and _bigger-_

Until, with a fanfare of purple smoke, Snatcher suddenly appeared before you in place of were the cat had once been. His face being _right_ in front of yours, to be exact, as Snatcher’s elbows were simply propped up in your lap, with him holding his face in his hands casually, while the rest of his long, noodly body lay sprawled out on the floor behind him. While you were struggling to say something, _anything,_ with all that was coming out of your mouth being embarrassed squeaks and wheezes, Snatcher look just as smug as ever, his sinister smile curling up on his face as he crossed and rested his arms in your lap, like he was getting more comfortable. He then laid his head down, chuckling briefly, and purred out a single, simple phrase, one that made your cheeks burn brighter than an inferno with it being in a deep, mocking tone:

_**“Meeeooow~”** _

_“SNATCHER?!”_ you shrieked loudly, nearly screaming your head off with how aghast you were, all while Snatcher started laughing loud and hard at your reaction, like it was the funniest thing he had heard in years. _“WHAT THE ACTUAL F-”_

 **“Alright, alright! Calm yourself, darling! The whole forest can hear you-”** Snatcher quickly interrupted, shushing you and trying to calm you down; but right now, you felt more humiliated than you had ever been in your life and you wanted an explanation right _here,_ right _now._

“What. The heck. Snatcher. Where _were_ you?! What was all _that_ for?! And _how_ and _why_ were you a _cat?!”_ you said quickly, frantically, almost out of breath after screaming so loud. Snatcher just snickered, trying to stifle his own laughter, nearly toppling over the brink of just doubling over and rolling on the floor; and you _almost_ seriously considered pushing him to said floor yourself, as revenge for him fooling you and acting like _such a jerk._ But, for his sake, you managed to restrain yourself.

 ** _“Snrkk,_ I’m sorry, I’m sorry! That was just- Pffft, _HA!_ Too funny!”** Snatcher tried to speak in between giggling, guffawing, and just overall laughing over your massive freak out from earlier. **“O-okay I think, heh...I think I’m fine now.”** he sighed once he manage to compose himself, coughing into his fist briefly. He then turned his head to look at you, only to be met with an angry, blushing face, glaring back at him with a cross, yet flustered expression.

Snatcher snorted, signaling he was about to start laughing again. You could tell, as he even put a hand over his smiling mouth, like he was trying to hold himself back.

“Snatcher. Don’t you _dare_ start laughing again or I _swear,_ I’ll-”

Too late. You didn’t get to finish that statement, as Snatcher burst out laughing once more, much to your displeasure. He cackled in his usual, maniacal way, his loud and booming voice reverberating off the wooden inside of his home. And you were about to open your mouth to start yelling at him again, when suddenly, his laughter...changed. You felt your words become caught in your throat, as Snatcher’s signature booming laughter turned into something more soft, more silly. He started giggling hysterically, more high-pitched than his normal tone, as he suddenly rested the side of his head on your lap, making your face go even more red. But not purely out of embarrassment or anger this time, no...but from just how _cute_ the spectacle was. Snatcher’s giggling was more cheerful, jovial, with his unbelievably wide smile slowly appearing less sneering and mocking, turning into something more jolly and pleasant. He even started slapping the surface of the ottoman, he was laughing that hard. And when Snatcher’s _laughter_ finally began to die down, with him sighing happily and trying to compose himself, your heart just started beating faster inside your chest.

Dammit, why did he have to be so _adorable?!_

“Are you _finally_ done now?” you asked, not passive-aggressively as you would have like, but in a more soft-ish tone, as you looked down at Snatcher’s gleeful, giddy face, his head still resting again your lap. You tapped him lightly on top of his head to get his attention.

 **“Huh? Oh yeah, right, my bad-”** Snatcher giggled, his voice more airy and light than it usually was, before he cleared his throat and chuckled, more deeply this time. **“I’m sorry, but that was just _priceless!”_** he “apologized” to you, wiping away a fake tear as he spoke, and you just huffed, crossing your arms. **“Oh! And to answer your questions from earlier: One, I was out checking my traps. Two, because I could, and who doesn’t love a grand entrance? And three, did you _seriously_ forget I could shapeshift?”** Snatcher suddenly started answering you, counting each question with his talons, even though you had already completely forgotten what specific questions had asked before this whole ordeal. But that last part _certainly_ caught your attention, as even Snatcher laughed a bit in disbelief at the realization that yes, you had indeed forgotten that oh-so-important detail about him.

“Okay...but why shapeshift into a _cat?_ Why couldn’t you just walk- erm... _float_ around your forest like you normally do?” you asked him, honestly curious as to what his answer would be, but Snatcher just simply shrugged.

 **“Why not? I figured it made for a good disguise!”** Snatcher said, casually propping one of his elbows back on your lap and leaning against you casually, as he was simply lounging around on his floor. **“It fooled _you_ pretty well, after all~”** he mocked, winking back at you in an almost flirtatious manner, making you grumble to yourself and turn your head away from his gaze. But if that wasn’t enough to make you groan, what Snatcher said next certainly did:

**“I suppose I really was the _cat’s meow_ to you, huh?”**

“Oh. My god. Snatcher, you _absolute dork-”_ you face-palmed at such an awful pun, hiding your face from him even more. But even with your eyes covered, you could still tell he was grinning at you, undoubtedly proud of himself. That was just something you had come to discover about Snatcher. While the ghost himself absolutely _loathed_ puns, all of that was thrown out the window once he had an opportunity to get on your nerves _and_ fluster you at the same time.

 **“I can see you _smiliiing,_ darling~”** he teased, and you just decided to use both hands to hide your face, to hide your “disappointment” from Snatcher and your shame that yes, you were, in fact, smiling at his horrible pun. But only because of how terrible it was! Not because Snatcher was semi-unintentionally being charming and trying to make you laugh. No, you weren’t smiling due to that reason _at all-_

 **“Oh? Not a big fan of that one, dearest? Don’t worry, I have _plenty_ more were that came from!”** Snatcher suddenly laughed, before you then unmistakably heard the tell-tale sounds of him shapeshifting; a warping and distorted noise, one that you, without a doubt, could now recognize _very_ well. You were reluctant to peak out from your hands just to see what Snatcher had turned into, as you were now extremely wary of his tricks. But, when it felt like something was wrapping around your upper half, almost like Snatcher was hugging you, it was just enough to pique your curiosity, with you bringing your hands away to revel-

A gigantic, purple python, the exact same size as Snatcher, was coiled around you snugly, as his serpentine face was now _inches_ above from yours, as you had to stare upwards just so you could meet his gaze. The “python” (Aka: Snatcher) grinned down at you, his glowing yellow mouth now filled with more fangs than usual, making you gulp from nervousness at this discovery. A forked tongue even flicked out from his lips as he spoke, causing him to hiss.

**“Sssweetheart, I sssuppossse you really are my _main sssqueeze!”_**

While the joke was, unquestionably, the _corniest_ thing you had ever heard, it still didn’t change the fact that there was an _enormous snake LOOMING OVER YOU-_

 _“AAAAAAAAAAAAH_ OKAY, OKAY! TURN BACK NOW, _PLEASE-”_

Your _very_ noticeable freak out was enough for Snatcher to shift back almost immediately, his form morphing once again, before disappearing and reappearing in front of you in a cloud of purple smoke. And once Snatcher was back to his normal form, worry was clearly written all over his face, as he lifted you up into his arms without hesitation, cradling you while reassuring you that everything was alright, he wasn’t going to hurt you, he promised. You hadn’t been _too_ frightened, really. Admittedly, _maybe_ you had over-reacted just a little bit. But it was nice to see Snatcher being still concerned about your well-being, even if it was just meant as a harmless joke.

 **“Sorry! I’m so sorry! That was my fault, I should have given you a warning-”** Snatcher comforted you, apologizing while also rambling, before giving you an awkward smile as you looked up at him. **“Not a big fan of snakes, I’m guessing?”** he laughed, albeit a bit dryly, and you smiled just as nervously in return.

“W-well...not when they’re about _ten feet tall_ and about to _constrict me-”_ you wheezed out as a sort of “joke”, clutching your chest momentarily like you almost had a heart attack. “B-but I’m _fine,_ we’re _good,_ just... _warn_ somebody before you do something like that!” your earlier annoyance returned, as you tried hiding your embarrassment in Snatcher’s floof. While you couldn’t see Snatcher’s smile as you said this, you could, however, hear him letting out a sigh of relief.

 **“Duly noted.”** Snatcher said, simply patting your back. **“I just hope you’re not too mad at me, darling~”** he then purred, nuzzling and giving a gentle “boop” to the top of your head. And while, yes, he had totally humiliated you with his silly pranks, like he usually did, you just couldn’t find it in you to be _actually_ mad at him. Especially when he was being this much of a cuddlebug, which was especially rare, in Snatcher’s case.

“I don’t know...might have to revoke the ‘floof petting sessions’ if you ever pull another prank like _that_ again.” you “warned” him, though it was obvious by the tone of your voice that you weren’t being too serious. It was, however, enough for Snatcher to gasp dramatically, leaning back and suddenly giving you a look of reproach.

 **“Are you trying to _intimidate_ me?”** he glared down at you, frowning, sounding offended for a moment, his voice going all deep and growling, like it usually did when he was mad. Your smile started to slowly disappear, as you were afraid you had _actually_ upset him…

But then your face was suddenly being smothered with purple fluff, with you letting out a small _“oof”_ in surprise as Snatcher began hugging the life out of you.

 **“Awww! How _adorable!”_** he fawned over you, and you weren’t sure whether to be relieved or insulted by his strange reaction. **“It’s so _cute_ how hard you try to be threatening, my love~”**

Ah, nope, _there_ it was. _Now_ you felt insulted.

“Shut up...” you grumbled.

Snatcher, in fact, did not shut up.

 **“Besides, you wouldn't want to withhold pets from your...oh, how did you put it earlier?”** Snatcher grinned knowingly, tapping his chin in thought, as a pit of dread started to form in your chest. Oh no. He better not. You swore, if he was about to say what you _thought_ he was going to say, you were going to _scream_ in rage. If he even so much as _opened his mouth_ to say something like-

**“Your ‘fwuffy wittle handsome baby’?~”**

_THAT’S IT-_

_“SNATCHERRRRRR!”_

You shrieked, your angered cries filling Snatcher’s home, with Snatcher’s hysterical laughter soon following afterwards. Sometimes, Snatcher could be a real jerk. But, you had to remind yourself, he was _your_ jerk. And honestly? Even you had to admit it, you wouldn't have him any other way…

...Snatcher was still going to be losing his “petting privileges” for awhile, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Bonus!)
> 
> You: "Wait...why were you purring and making cat noises earlier?"
> 
> Snatcher: "Oh, you know. Had to act the part. Pretty convincing, right?"
> 
> You: "..."
> 
> Snatcher: "..."
> 
> You: "You just wanted pets without having to ask again, didn't you?"
> 
> Snatcher: "Whoops! Sorry! I just remembered I don't have ears!"
> 
> You: "Snatcher, please-"


	6. A Life-Saving Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Okay, not gonna lie, this chapter is very joke-y and comedic. It's based on a funny, but kinda stupid, little HC I have, and "The Reader" barely even features in this one. You do get to read about Snatcher being a dramatic, evil dork though! So I hope y'all enjoy!)

_**“AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”** _

_**“FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!”** _

The Nyakuza cat trembled, as a large, dark figure was suddenly towering over it. The monster had gigantic claws, sharper claws than on any other cat they had even met before, along with the piercing yellows eyes and sharp, gleaming fangs to match. The Nyakuza cat felt their legs giving out from under them, as they quickly took notice that the creature before them was also _taller_ than them. Much, _much_ taller. Almost as tall as the trees they had been seeing non-stop all around this _weird, creepy_ forest; until they fell into that trap of thorny vines, of course. As the monstrous being bellowed out his loud, booming greeting, the Nyakuza cat, on the other hand, was questioning all of their life choices in that moment.

“Join the Nyakuza gang!” their friends had told them. “It’ll help you earn a little more cash!”

They were just here to collect a bounty! _They hadn’t signed up for any of this!_

**“You BLEW it! You’ve totally SCREWED yourself! Nobody enters my forest and leaves in one piece!”** The Snatcher cackled, raising his clawed hands and throwing his head back. **“Now, you will suffer my eternal wrath! You will learn what true suffering...feels...like...hang on a minute-”**

The Snatcher suddenly trailed off in the middle of his dramatic speech, causing the Nyakuza cat to stop hiding their face in their paws. What else could they say? Curiosity killed the cat, after all. Although they _highly_ doubted that satisfaction would ever bring them back…

**“You’re one of those gang member cats, aren’t you? You work for...oh, what’s her name? I swear I knew it just a second ago-”** The Snatcher regarded them for only a second, before pondering to himself. They were about to answer him, but Snatcher clapping his hands, loudly and suddenly, made their fur stand on end, as they then recoiled. **“HA! _Empress!_ Her name is Empress! I _knew_ I still remembered!”** The Snatcher said, mostly to himself, triumphantly, before slowly looking more unsure of himself. **“I’m right, aren’t I?”** he turned to the terrified black cat, making them flinch. It was silent for a moment, as they weren’t quite sure if he was _actually_ addressing them, until, hesitantly, they opened their mouth to speak-

“Y-”

_**“FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!”** _

That was all they managed to get out, before The Snatcher roared his signature “greeting” at them once more, with the Nyakuza cat immediately covering their ears and shivering in fear.

**“How _DARE_ you interrupt The All Powerful and All Terrifying Snatcher!”** he leered down at them with a malicious grin, proudly flaunting his title. **“I never gave you permission to speak. Not that I care what kind of needless pleads you would’ve said anyways, but still, that’s very rude of you.”** he leaned down, his giant form looming closer to the poor, terrified cat, before poking at them with a large talon, making them squeak in fear, scrambling frantically on the ground. **“Let that be a lesson to you! Well...a very _short_ lesson, given what I usually do to those who dare trespass in my forest! _HAHAHAHAAA!”_**

The Nyakuza cat gulped nervously after hearing those words, watching The Snatcher laugh like it was the funniest "joke" he had ever told. But even with the current situation, and the stone-cold fact that there was a _very_ likely chance they were about to die a _very_ painful death and that _nobody_ from their clan was coming to rescue them, they couldn’t help their morbid curiosity…

“W-what...what _do_ you do to trespassers, oh ‘All Powerful and All Terrifying Snatcher’?”

They queried, so _quietly,_ so _faintly,_ that, especially over all of The Snatcher’s laughing, they were almost _certain_ he probably hadn’t heard them.

_But he did._

The Snatcher’s laughter suddenly ceased. That was _never_ a good sign. He turned his head slowly to glare down at the lone Nyakuza cat, who was now shaking in their fur in pure terror. The Snatcher’s glowing, golden eyes narrowed at them accusingly.

The Snatcher then _grinned_ at them.

A _horrible, evil, terrifying_ grin.

A grin that struck nothing but _fear_ into the doomed cat’s frantically beating heart.

**“Oh, well, if you simply _must_ know, most trespassers of mine usually face _very serious_ legal issues. You know how it is.”** The Snatcher chuckled darkly, although they could barely see the humor in it. **“But...with a _thieving, pestering,_ and, not to mention, _rude little furball_ such as yourself?”** he then growled, each and every stressed word sounded like they were laced with hateful venom, as his “cheery” tone from earlier turned into something far more _enraged._

**“Well...in _your_ case-”**

The Nyakuza cat let out a shriek, as with a brief snap of The Snatcher’s claws, a wall of blue fire suddenly shot up from the ground, circling around them and nearly singing some of their fur.

_**“I think we’ve already reached the final verdict, haven’t we?”** _

The Snatcher hissed deeply, foreboding, outstretching his massive claws towards the poor defenseless cat. Their ears drooped. Their body quaked in fear. This was the end for them. Their life seemed to flash before their eyes; from back when they were but a small kitten, to their current situation now. One thing was for sure, they thought to themselves, as the sounds of evil laughter and fire crackling surrounded them-

_They were never joining another gang ever again._

The Snatcher brought a single, clawed hand above his head, primed and ready to snatch the feeble cat’s soul from their weak, mortal body in his most _favorite_ way possible.

_**“SAY GOODBYE TO THAT LITTLE HEAD OF-”** _

A small, jingling song cut through the tense atmosphere, making The All Mighty and Powerful Snatcher and even the mortified Nyakuza cat perk up in confusion, immediately stopping what they were doing as if it was a planned performance and the director had yelled out _“CUT!”_

As both Snatcher and the cat looked around them for the source of the peppy tune, with it echoing and reverberating in the purple dimension they were currently in, Snatcher couldn’t help but find it _awfully_ familiar…

Wait a minute.

**“Oh, _come on._ Seriously?”** Snatcher looked down at the cat with disappointment. **“You’re about to _die_ and you didn’t think to leave your phone on silent?”** he crossed his arms, not yelling angrily or enraged anymore, but just sounding thoroughly and utterly _done_ with the cat’s antics. Meanwhile, the Nyakuza cat just looked at a loss of what to do. It raised a single, shaky paw, which Snatcher regarded with some confusion, before it finally hit him. **“Oh really? Really. Right _now?_ _Now_ is when you start using your manners?”** Snatcher put his hands to his...well, not really “hips”, but close enough to them, looking sternly at the cat like a disappointed mother would, before sighing and rolling his eyes, already fed up with all of this. **“Go ahead, you can speak.”**

The Nyakuza cat looked hesitant for a moment, until it gathered the courage to squeak out in a shrill and clearly terrified voice:

“U-um...I-I don’t even _own_ a phone...s-sir...”

Snatcher blinked dumbly.

**“Wait, seriously?”** Snatcher asked the cat, and they just nodded. **“You never even thought to steal one before? Not even once?”** he asked again, and the cat regarded this, looking rather embarrassed for a moment, especially since they were part of a _gang_ for crying out loud, before shaking their head in reply. **“Huh...well if it’s not _your_ phone, then who’s-”**

Snatcher paused, listening to the on-going tune more closely.

Wait...wasn’t that _his_ theme song?

**“Hang on a minute-”** Snatcher eyes grew wider, as the realization suddenly hit him, with him promptly snapping his fingers.

The cat, still below Snatcher, flinched at this, letting out a soft cry, as they feared he was summoning more fire or lightening, _something_ terribly deadly, to finally kill them. But, to their surprise and _immediate_ relief, the ghost only summoned a phone, from his aptly named pocket-dimension, into his hand. An _extremely giant_ phone that fit into the Snatcher’s hands perfectly, with a giant phone case to match, purple with Snatcher’s signature yellow, grinning face printed on it. The cat blinked, not sure if what it was seeing was real or an illusion. But sure enough, the phone appeared to be the source of, what they now both discovered was, the ringtone, with it even vibrating in Snatcher’s hands slightly.

**“Oh. It’s _my_ phone.”** Snatcher, clearly stating the obvious, said with an unreadable expression on his face. **“Mind if I take this?”** he then said, catching the Nyakuza cat off guard, as they couldn't believe such a monstrous being would ask such a thing instead of just killing them there on the spot (and it was _certainly_ shocking to them that The Snatcher, Stealer and Terrorizer of all mortal souls, was currently being more polite than their own _boss,_ The Empress). But when they didn’t answer fast enough, Snatcher snarled at them and summoned magic fire in his free hand, signaling them to hurry up and answer right now, or _else._

And they did, nodding their head so hurriedly they were afraid it would pop right off.

**“Great. Thanks.”** Snatcher then smiled…“sweetly” at them, straightening himself up and self-extinguishing his hand, before tapping the screen of his phone and bringing it up to, where the cat _assumed,_ his “ear” was. **“This had better be good.”** he grumbled to himself, and the cat just pretended not to listen and look at the ground instead, like staring at the ground was somehow more interesting that the current craziness that had been happening to them so far.

But then...a passing thought occurred to the Nyakuza cat. What if the person who was calling The Snatcher was, in fact, _the Empress herself?_ What if she _knew_ they would become captured beforehand and she had prepared back up to come and save them? It was a hopeless, desperate thought, yes, but a thought that nearly brought happy tears to the cat’s eyes. Maybe they would be freed! Maybe they would live to see another day! And while they weren’t exactly sure _how_ The Empress planned to negotiate with a soul-stealing spirit, with the odds of them surviving this whole ordeal still being _impossibly slim,_ they would still take what little chance they could get!

**“Hello? Who is this?”** Snatcher’s voice snapped the Nyakuza cat out of their futile daydreams, but it only made their heart soar in anticipation and excitement. Who could it be? The Empress? Their gang friends sent by The Empress to come and save them? Maybe even the police? They would take anything! _Anything!_ Anything that meant they could get away with all of their nine lives and-

**“Oh! _Sweetheart!_ What a surprise!~”**

Wait… _“sweetheart”?_ Were they hearing that correctly? They figured they might’ve still had hearing damage from Snatcher screaming the word “fool” at them so much, but...

When they meant “anything”, they certainly didn’t expected to hear _that._

But, that was what they were getting, apparently, as they watched as Snatcher’s face went from annoyed and menacing to light, soft, and cheery. A complete 180 from what he was like before, and the surprise and shock of seeing such a terrifying specter turn from scary to almost giddy-looking? Almost felt like expectation slapped them straight across the face in that moment. In fact, they were reeling from such an outcome, as their jaw dropped from behind their gang member mask.

**“How are you?”** Snatcher said, far more cheerily than he was just a second ago, his mood appearing to shift almost instantly. There was a pause, as Snatcher listened to the caller on the other side of the phone, being polite. **“Me? Oh, I’m just fine! Thank you for asking, dearest!”** he then smiled, looking almost... _happy?_ Like he was genuinely pleased to hear the voice of whoever this “sweetheart” was? **“Hmm? Oh. Am I busy right now? _Wellllll...”_** Snatcher considered the question, looking back down at the cat, acknowledging them for only a moment.

The cat just stared back up at him blankly, as Snatcher looked them over.

**“Nope! I’m not that busy right now. Not with anything _important,_ anyways. What did you want from me, darling?”** Snatcher’s gaze quickly averted from them, as he disregarded the fact that they were even standing there, in a _literal_ ring of fire, no less. The Nyakuza cat didn’t know whether to be relieved that Snatcher hadn’t decided to kill them yet again, or to be insulted that they were suddenly classified as “not important” by his standards. They decided to go with the former.

**“Really now? I don’t see why not! Where do you want to go this time?”** Snatcher suddenly seemed ecstatic, even bouncing up and down in place from where he st- erm, floated. His voice, which before had been loud, booming, and intimidating, was now much softer as he spoke to this mysterious person. **“Of course! That happens to be my favorite part of my forest! Oh, you know me so well~”** Snatcher giggled before letting out a soft sigh, apparently enamored by what this person had suggested, and was he... _blushing?_ He certainly seemed to be, as a golden-yellow tint soon spread across his cheeks, making the cat gawk at the sight.

**“So what time, darling? N-not that I’m in a rush or anything! I just need to, uh-”** Snatcher’s eyes glanced towards the cat’s direction once more, filling them with momentary dread, before Snatcher seemed to look embarrassed, clearing his throat and coughing awkwardly into his fist. “-get ready for our date beforehand, of course!”

Wait. What.

WAIT. _WHAT-_

The Nyakuza cat almost couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Did he say “date”? Did this terrifying ghost, one who was almost about to kill them only a few minutes ago, actually just drop everything that he was doing and become giddy and excited over a simple date? It was crazy enough just watching a twenty foot ghost casually taking a call on a giant cell phone he somehow owned, somehow getting reception all the way out in a forest, no less, but to hear said noodle-looking ghost was going on a date, of all things? This was the thing that might save them?

...Maybe, they thought to themselves, touching some of those strange, glowing mushrooms during their trek through the forest earlier _hadn’t_ been such a good idea after all.

**“Sounds perfect to me! I’ll see you then, alright? Mm-hmm. Yep. I love you too! See ya soon, sweetheart~”** Snatcher sounded like he was ending the call now, with him even giving said caller a brief _“mwah!”_ before they hung up, making the phone disappear once more with the snap of his claws. The cat then watched (almost wanting to pinch themselves just to make _absolute sure_ this wasn’t some sort of dream or mushroom hallucination) as Snatcher then placed his clawed hands over his chest, closed his eyes, and let out a long, lovestruck sigh. Even the ghost’s tail appear to wag happily, and the cat swore they saw a purple heart or two appear above Snatcher’s head as well, as if this was a cartoon, and they could just tell from looks alone that he was deeply in love.

Snatcher eventually seemed to snap out of it though, much to the cat’s despair.

**“Oh. Hmm. Where was I again…?”** Snatcher tapped his chin in thought, still not acknowledging the cat, almost making them hope he forgot about them. It was short lived. **“Oh! Right! _Ahem-”_** he then cleared his throat, before leaning back, inhaling deeply-

_**“FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!”** _

The Nyakuza cat screamed, for what they were _absolutely positive_ was their last time, as they then began to cower in fear from The Snatcher, whilst still being trapped in the roaring ring of fire. This was it. _Now_ this was surely the end of them. No more Nyakuza. No more visiting their friends at their favorite food truck. No more pretty black fur to groom, probably, giving how suddenly _close the fire was getting to them._ They just hoped the saying of “All dogs go to heaven” applied to cats as well, as the fire drew _closer_ and _closer,_ their whiskers and tail about to be burned clean off, until the fire would be able to consume them whole and-

**“Actuallyyy...you know what? I think I’ve change my mind.”**

...what?

“...what?” the cat whispered timidly, slowly lifted their head up from the fetal position they were in, staring up at Snatcher.

**“I’m just not feeling it anymore. The mood’s kinda been ruined for me now. It’s just not... _dramatic_ enough for me to do the whole routine, you know?”** Snatcher shrugged, though it clearly sounded like he was making some sort of excuse. **“Besides, I have much more pressing matters that I need to attend to. So you’re free to go, I guess.”** he snapped his claws once more, the ring of fire around the cat then disappearing in wisps of smoke. The purple dimension they were in seemed to disappear as well, as now they were suddenly standing back in Subcon, the vine trap that started this whole mess retreating into the ground as well. **“Go on, shoo! While your soul’s still intact and before I change my mind.”** Snatcher waved the cat off with a single hand, looking completely disinterested with them. The cat shakily managed to get back onto its back paws, before looking back up at the Snatcher timidly as he started to slowly float away.

“U-um...thank you, s-sir!” they managed to call out, fidgeting with their paws nervously. “I-I hope you both have a n-nice date!” they added, mostly rambling to themselves, before they suddenly realized the error of their ways, covering their already mask-covered mouth with their paws in horror.

Snatcher paused in his tracks.

Then turned around.

He smiled back at the cat.

But strangely enough...this smile seemed more... _friendly?_

**“Why, thank you! I'm sure we will! I guess you finally did learn some manners after all!”** Snatcher suddenly teleported himself right in front of the cat, clasping his hands together and looking rather jolly, before reaching a single, clawed hand towards them. Thankfully for them, it _wasn’t_ so he could squish their head, like the cat had first thought in panic. To their surprise, it was so he could pat the top of their head, if a little bit forcefully, nearly nailing them into the ground where they stood. Snatcher laughed manically at them struggling to keep their balance for a moment, before leaning further down and sliding a snake-like arm over the Nyakuza cat’s shoulder.

**“But seriously-”** Snatcher grinned at them, before bringing his face inches away from theirs, his expression soon flipping faster than a coin as he then told them in a very deep, cautionary voice:

_**“Don’t ever come back.”** _

The Nyakuza cat nodded like their live depended on it (which, funnily enough, it did).

**“Good! Glad that’s all sorted out!”** Snatcher announced gleefully, letting the poor, probably traumatized, cat go free. **“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an important date I need to attend! _Literally! HAHAHAHAAA!”_** he waved the cat “Ta-ta!”, laughing loudly at his own joke, before diving head-first into the ground and teleporting out of sight.

The Nyakuza cat then, without any hesitation, high- _tailed_ (pun fully intended) it out of Subcon Forest.

There were many thoughts running through the cat’s mind, as they made their way out of the forest. The main idea being their grand plan that they would _immediately_ board a train, to _anywhere_ else other than the Metro, quit that _stupid_ Nyakuza gang, and definitely get an _extremely less dangerous_ job, like the movie-making industry; or maybe settle down somewhere nice and quiet, like the Alpines. Anywhere that was far, far, _far_ away from any cat gangs and, more importantly, haunted forests. But even as they were literally running away for dear life, and even though The Snatcher was, by far, more terrifying than _anyone_ they had ever seen as a gang member, they still hoped he and his “sweetheart” would have a wonderful evening together.

But as of right now? They were getting the hell out of Subcon. Screw that million dollar bounty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. No Nyakuza cats were harmed in the writing of this fic!
> 
> (I swear I'll make much more serious chapters next time adsfghjk-)

**Author's Note:**

> (Kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Thank you all! ♥)


End file.
